May 20, 2006

SELF-PORTRAIT WITH URINAL

Barry Zito is finding his Zen after a slow start. In Thursday's game he pitched 7 scoreless innings & improved to 3-3. The A's anemic batting average inched up this week - they're no longer the weakest offense in the majors - & their team ERA continued to drop. And thanks to a weak division, they're in first!

In other Zito trivia, he says one of his favorite shows is SpongeBob SquarePants, & there's also this nugget: "Personal grooming has never been a strong point for the A's, but Barry's unkempt appearance once prompted GM Billy Beane to ask him if he combed his hair with a rock."

Posted by Jeff at 09:02 AM | Comments (4)

May 13, 2006

PITCHING ON ACID

SELF-PORTRAIT BY BARRY ZITO

Despite allowing only one run in 20 innings & a .087  ERA over his last three starts, Barry Zito went 1-1 in that span, & added another loss last night to Steinbrenner's mercenaries, 2-0. The good news is the A's now only boast the 2nd lowest batting average in MLB. Thank you Tampa Bay.

Asked to name to the greatest flake in baseball, Zito once said "I'd have to say Dock Ellis. Pitching on LSD? That's pretty impressive."  On June 12, 1970, Ellis pitched the first no-hitter of the season, despite being somewhat wild that day. He later said he'd dropped acid, thinking the Pirates had the day off, before his horrified girlfriend picked up the schedule:

"I can only remember bits & pieces of the game. I was psyched. I had a feeling of euphoria. The ball was small sometimes, the ball was large sometimes, sometimes I saw the catcher, sometimes I didn't. I chewed my gum until it turned to powder.  I remember diving out of the way of a ball I thought was a line drive. I jumped, but the ball wasn't hit hard & never reached me."

Posted by Jeff at 12:04 PM | Comments (10)

May 02, 2006

(WE HAVE NO) MONEYBALL

Not only did A's rock star lefty Barry Zito win a 1-0 game last nite despite his 5.93 ERA, but today's 10-3 win, their 5th in a row, featured a bench-clearing brawl, while A's DH Frank Thomas - the big shot off-season acquisition who was supposed to activate the A's anemic offense, has almost cracked .200, meaning the A's may soon lose the honor of having the most pitiful offense in MLB. (Photo of Zito headlining Pyramid Brewery in Berkeley.)

Posted by Jeff at 04:38 PM | Comments (3)

April 20, 2006

THROWS LEFT, STRUMS RIGHT

Rock star / ace pitcher Barry Zito was robbed of his first win this season as the A's bullpen got smoked again in the 9th by the Tigers. Luckily, the whole division sucks. When he's not surfing or strumming, Zito also heads Strikeouts for Troops, where pitchers donate money to wounded soldiers & their families for every batter they strike out. In 2005, they raised $137,775 for 1,438 strikeouts. Other players involved include Curt Schilling, Manny Ramirez, CC Sabathia, & Chipper Jones. Detroit 4, Oakland 3.

Posted by Jeff at 07:08 PM | Comments (3)

April 16, 2006

ERIC CHAVEZ

A's five-time Gold Glove Eric Chavez went 4 for 4 in today's game against Texas, but at the last minute the Rangers cheated.  Texas 5, Oakland 3.  You suck, Keith!

Posted by Jeff at 03:41 PM | Comments (3)

April 03, 2006

PLAY BALL!

Barry Zito of the Oakland A's, who still rocks even though he sucked ass last season &  dresses like a refugee.ng day: A's vs Yankees tonite, Oakland Coliseum, 7:30. (P.S. Yankees blow)

UPDATE: Steinbrenner mercenaries rock Oakland, 15-2. Zito, you bum!

Posted by Jeff at 06:35 PM | Comments (4)

March 06, 2006

AND YOU SAY FOLKS PAY TO WATCH THIS CRAP?

George Bush pretends to be interested in cricket, the world's lamest sport, while meeting Pakistani cricket star / heartthrob Salman Butt. Bush: "I was fooled by a googly." (Googly = idiotic cricket jargon)

Posted by Jeff at 12:25 AM | Comments (9)

March 02, 2006

WHERE IS GLORIA ALLRED WHEN YOU NEED HER?

Photo by Persian photographer Mansour Nasiri from his site: "Iranian police officers stand as Iranian girls hold a banner sign which reads We want to watch a match of our national soccer team during a World Cup friendly match between Iran & Costa Rica in Tehran. Iranian women are not allowed to attend matches of the men's teams which are held in the coliseum. Iran won 3-2."

More pics & story at Nasiri's photoblog. Also see his amazing 360° shot of the  Ganjalikhan baths in Kerman, Iran.

Posted by Jeff at 12:16 PM | Comments (5)

A BUSH, A BALL, & A BUTT

George Bush will mingle with Pakistan's cricket elite this weekend, hopefully including superstar Salman Butt. The potential meeting of icons came about after a reporter asked former Rangers owner Bush whether he'd prefer a Bollywood movie or a cricket match, which many would regard as no-win situation.

Cricket is of course a completely idiotic game, the only sport with official tea breaks, since matches last up to 6 hours a day for 5 days. The terminology includes things like silly mid off, googly, & maiden overs, which sounds rude. Cricket & baseball are both said to be derived from rounders, but cricket is to baseball as lupus is to the Zone.

Bush will probably not meet cricket star turned demagogue Imran Khan, who was arrested in Lahore for taking part in a banned rally to protest some cartoons: "These caricatures are part of an anti-Islam conspiracy." Khan, once voted Sexiest Man of the Year in Oz, is most famous outside of cricket for his marriage to British socialite Jemima Goldsmith (who's currently shagging Hugh Grant).

See also Hate the Game; India are Butted by Pakistan

UPDATE: Butt invited to meet Bush!

Posted by Jeff at 06:30 AM | Comments (2)

March 01, 2006

WHEN GROWN MEN ACT LIKE TEENYBOPPERS

photo © Paolo Cocco

Soccer star Fabio Liverani (of Somali descent, 1st black player to play for the Italian national football team) walks past fans after throwing his shirt & shorts at them at the end of Lazio vs AS Roma match at Rome's Olympic stadium 06 Jan 05. (h / t: john s)

Posted by Jeff at 12:28 PM | Comments (6)

January 22, 2006

BUTTWATCH

Millions of Muslim maidens mourned when 20yo cricket sensation Salman Butt, Pakistan's most eligible bachelor, announced his engagement. His betrothed, Maira Rahim — besides being the most hated woman in Pakistan — is a tennis player & sister to Pakistan national tennis champion Mariam Rahim.

Unlike India's Muslim tennis star Mirza Sania, 18, who faced down a fatwa for playing in skirts & sleeveless shirts, women in Pakistan are forced to compete while dressed like Victorian maidens, blocking them from international play. Mariam Rahim:

"We don't have any choice. I wear shalwar kameez [loose-fitting long shirt & trousers]. It is also a very difficult crowd here. If you want quality, then these things should change."

No shotgun wedding this, the Butt nuptials will not take place until after the current cricket season ends Feb. 19. BA wishes the couple many happy Butts.

See also Shalwar Kameez Spring Collection; Profiles in Courage: Salman Butt

UPDATE: Butt falls

Posted by Jeff at 07:37 PM | Comments (2)

December 15, 2005

BUTTWATCH

Butt Leads Pakistan Fightback: "Salman Butt quickly made England aware they had a challenge on their hands. Lancashire pace bowler James Anderson shiftedr Kamran Akmal cheaply but Butt responded with a quickfire 67."

See also Profiles in Courage: Salman Butt; Butt Seriously

Posted by Jeff at 06:50 AM | Comments (3)