May 13, 2006

THE PRESIDENT'S MAGIC UNDERPANTS

Posted by Jeff at 11:31 AM | Comments (2)

February 18, 2006

BEAUTIFUL ATROCITIES DEVOTIONAL SITE OF THE DAY

Posted by Jeff at 01:15 PM | Comments (5)

May 23, 2005

THEOCRACY UNDERGROUND MEETS AT STARBUCKS

Posted by Jeff at 02:49 PM | Comments (0)

DESECRATION WATCH: GANESH BEER

An Indian law student is filing a $1 billion class action suit for emotional distress over a brewery's depiction of a Hindu god on its India Pale Ale label. Brij Dhir says the depiction of the elephant-head god Ganesh holding a glass of beer in his trunk is a hate crime & told a newspaper it intimidates Hindus from practicing their religion.

Lost Coast Brewery, a small Northern California 'woman-owned' microbrewery, is pulling the beer off the market but Dhir says that's not good enough:

"They want to withdraw it after their contractual obligations. In the meantime we have to suffer it? We want to go ahead with this case & create a precedent for future generations."

Also named as defendants: Safeway, the state Department of Fair Employment & Housing, & the Attorney General's Office, which Dhir says failed to respond to his complaints. It's unclear whether the small brewery, founded by 2 women in 1986, is going to pony up $1 billion for the suffering inflicted on Hindus worldwide.

Ganesh class action suits would seem to be a growth industry, as an internet search shows the market is teeming with hate crimes:

Milk Chocolate Ganesh; Ganesh Idol Made of 1500 Soda Bottles; Ganesh Dollar Bill Origami; Ganesh Lunchbox; Ganesh Chewing Tobacco; Ganesh Car Air Freshener; Ganesh Trucker Hat; Ganesh Ringtones; Ganesh Birthday Cake Topper; Ganesh Backless Babelicious Hoodie; Ganesh Skateboard; What Would Ganesh Do? Totebag; Ganesh Coaster (with shocking photo underneath BEER MUG)

Posted by Jeff at 09:04 AM | Comments (18)

April 26, 2005

wrong!!!

AbstinenceOnly.com Providing America's youth with moral guidance in faith-f*cking, frottage, & Anal Abstinence:

"Take your penis & rub it against your faith partner’s buttocks until erect. Now straddle your partner & slide the underside of your penis back & forth along the crack of your faith partner’s ass. DO NOT penetrate your faith partner’s anus with your penis!

"Continue sliding your prayer rod along the cleft of your faith partner’s ass faster & faster so that your testicles slap against the juncture of their buttocks & thigh. As you approach orgasm we suggest firmly pressing the head of the penis against the small of the back or the top of one buttock cheek, taking care not to let any semen or ejaculate approach the anus. Wasn’t that fun?"

Posted by Jeff at 08:10 AM | Comments (8)

April 21, 2005

VATICAN SHOCKER: NEW POPE IS CATHOLIC

passed over: deepak chopra & maya angelou

Legions of deeply spiritual media pundits, academics, & Hollywood celebrities expressed dismay over the Vatican's controversial decision to elect a Catholic as the new Pope. "I was hoping for Deepak Chopra or Maya Angelou," Oprah Winfrey said. "Ratzinger is not a brand name. As a living legend, I can tell you packaging is everything."

Gloria Steinem: "Diversity for diversity's sake is important. A Muslim Pope would have been very inclusive. And Latins are in right now. Gloria Estefan had a song ready & everything. Now I suppose they'll have to use that stupid Schnappi song."

Maureen Dowd, the manless bitter misanthrope at the Times: "I was hoping for Kerry. Again. Every time I get my hopes up about a guy, my heart gets walked on like linoleum. I hate my life."

Survivor producer Mark Burnett pitched a reality show, Cardinal Sins, covering the cutthroat backstage drama to select the Pope. "Viewers could have voted for their favorite guy. The last Pope was a hit, & follow-up is essential. Who's advising these people?"

Madonna, who has a Catholic name, said, "I haven't lasted 20 years by shoveling the same old crap. Faith, hope, & love abide, but I'd recommend a Kabbalah makeover for the guy." A sobbing, menopausal Barbara Boxer challenged the election results, citing voting irregularities & called for a supermajority. Elsewhere: upon hearing of the ascension of a German Pope, the French government immediately surrendered.

Posted by Jeff at 07:37 AM | Comments (10)

April 20, 2005

PUNDITS ON THE POPE

joseph ratzinger, 1965

Robert Spencer:  Cardinal Ratzinger: "We are moving toward a dictatorship of relativism which does not recognize anything as definitive & has as its highest value one’s own ego & one's own desires. The rebirth of Islam is due mainly to the knowledge that it is able to offer a valid spiritual foundation for the life of its people, a foundation that seems to have escaped from the hands of old Europe."

Roger Kimball: "Pope Benedict is an orthodox Catholic whose reflections (as he put it in his book Introduction to Christianity) 'finally lead of their own accord to the words in which Paul named the main supporting pillars of Christianity: So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of them is love." That's not so bad, is it?"

Victor Davis Hanson: "The current crisis in Western culture is the boredom of an affluent & leisured populace—yearning for transcendence beyond its rich but ultimately unsatisfying material world, & yet skeptical of anything not explicable by pure Reason. An inspiring pontiff challenges modern Western man to rethink that the world is only what he can see or hear; an irrelevant pope confirms cynics’ smugness that religion is an unnecessary & superstitious creed."

Michael Novak: "Cardinal Ratzinger portrayed a crucial parting of the ways: between modernizing the church, so as to seem to appeal to modern men at the expense of fidelity to the word of Jesus Christ; & being faithful to the word, at the expense of losing numbers.  But he has also noted, correctly, that parishes & dioceses that choose 'modernization' usually end up losing numbers, while the more serious churches grow mightily."

EJ Dionne: Cardinal Ratzinger: "If it is true that a Christian faith taken seriously means nonconformity with a not inconsiderable number of contemporary social standards, then a more-or-less negative image is unavoidable. Nonconformists, after all, who enjoy general applause, are somewhat ridiculous figures, or at least unconvincing."

Charles Moore: "He is fascinated by Herman Hesse's novel Steppenwolf, with its portrait of the self-isolating man. Because today egotism is exalted rather than the love of God, 'this destruction of the capacity to live gives birth to deadly boredom. It is the poisoning of man. If it carried the day, man, & with him also the world, would be destroyed'".

Daniel Johnson: "The great issue for Pope Benedict XVI is the one that he set out in his remarkable sermon at the preconclave Mass in St Peter’s: Does he wish to lead the Church down the primrose path of secularism, following the Christian heartlands of Europe in their descent into moral relativism, or does he intend to turn towards the new missionary Church of Latin America, Africa & Asia, to reaffirm the faith of Christ, the faith of St Peter, the faith of John Paul II?"

Kenneth Woodward: "All the media focus on Rome when a new pope is elected distorts the nature of the church itself. The problems & opportunities facing Catholics around the world cannot be solved by papal fiat or pontifical programs. What the church needs most are Catholics who want to be Catholics, who know what that means, & who seek the grace to become true disciples of Christ. That they must do themselves."

Andrew Sullivan: "The space for dissidence is now extinct. And the attack on individual political freedom [sic] is just beginning."

The Hard Line on Ratzinger; Photogallery of Ratzinger's life

Posted by Jeff at 10:42 AM | Comments (19)

April 16, 2005

CELEBRATING MULTICULTURALISM

"Indian police have charged 80 people for burying children alive in an ancient Hindu ceremony known as 'the festival of pits'. The ceremony, in which children – some less than a year old – are buried alive briefly & then dug up, happened earlier this week. Every 2 years, parents who have vowed to bury their first-born if they are blessed with a child, take part in the ceremony. The children are drugged to make them unconscious & placed in shallow 'graves' in temple courtyards. The pits are covered with leaves & dirt & the children are pulled out after priests chant a brief prayer – lasting up to a minute."

from the Times of Malta

Posted by Jeff at 12:44 PM | Comments (6)