April 13, 2006
GENOCIDE, XENOPHOBIA, & CAT PISS
Noreen notes that genocide is linked to a country's fondness for vile spirits, & she has a point. Mexicans - the ones currently marching outside with Fuck Off Back to Europe signs - are descended from those genocidal maniacs, the Aztecs, who were the bomb at slaughtering gazillions of people on high holidays but couldn't even invent the fucking wheel, which is why we're not all speaking Nahuatl & sacrificing our firstborn down at the local pyramid.
And Mexicans still drink mezcal, fermented vomit made from some evil organism that only grows in desolate wastelands & tastes like cat piss. Oh, & by the way, if Baja was a US state, it would be Florida now, instead of resembling some blasted post-nuclear hellhole. Viva la raza!
Posted by Jeff at April 13, 2006 06:59 AM
Comments
Mezcal tastes like gasoline, not cat piss.
The Aztecs used to engage in "Flowery Wars" to both capture prisoners for sacrifice, as well as give the Gods blood on the battlefield.
I highly recommend Gary Jennings' "Aztec" as the best historical novel ever written, and my frame of reference includes the Aubrey-Maturin lexicon by patrick O'Brian, which I'm reading now.
"Aztec" has everything in it, and I mean EVERYTHING.
No really, name it and it's in there.
Posted by: Bill from INDC at April 13, 2006 10:34 AM
I hate to agree with Bill, but Aztec really is packed with more ultra-lurid weirdness than you can shake a stick at, and practically all of it has some flimsy connection with actual historical events. A very impressive piece of research in the form of a giant beach-read.
Another nice Meso-American literary moment is Avi's "F*ck the Aztecs!" rant in Cryptonomicon, when he (and Stephenson) take down the whole concept of being PC and non-judgmental about other cultures.
Posted by: utron at April 13, 2006 12:24 PM
We did invent the wheel and slaughter thousands on the highways during holidays under the influence of spirits.
Posted by: MarkD at April 13, 2006 05:59 PM
I'm not sure about whether or not we invented the wheel but I think we invented the idea of putting it under 400HP and 20 gallons of gasoline.
God bless America!
Posted by: slug at April 13, 2006 06:37 PM
Here is the HEAP chapter from Cryptonomicon:
http://newark.pardey.org/book/cryptonomicon/slide48.html
Posted by: Ghost of a flea at April 13, 2006 10:10 PM
