January 11, 2006
THE RISE & FALL OF A SOCCER LEGEND — NOT
Saadi Gaddafi, the world's most famous non-playing soccer star,
is
leaving the game. Apparently, he's been offered a 'prestigious
government position' in Libya he can't say no to. (Saadi earlier speculated that he might be appointed - cough -
Libyan ambassador to the US.) For the benefit of those
who've been breathlessly following this drama, here is a timeline of
Saadi's career:
1969 Colonel Gaddafi takes power in coup. Spectator sports banned: "Sport is a public activity that must be practiced rather than watched."
1983 10yo Saadi begins playing soccer, senses destiny
1996 During football match between Al-Ettihad & Al-Ahli club, Saadi allegedly orders personal security guards to fire on fans who are shouting slogans against him, killing 20. Sacks Libyan soccer coach who says "He is not a useful player. He is missing 2 fundamental things: speed & endurance." Opposing players said to run backwards to avoid him.
1999 Appointed head of Libyan Football Federation. Tells BBC journalist he dreams of being Africa's number one soccer player
2002 At FIFA congress, bribes 20 clubs to reelect corrupt president Sepp Blatter
July 2003 30yo Saadi, who's never played professionally, signed by Perugia as publicity stunt by florid coach Luciano Gaucci. Later admits receiving no salary (by now worth $8 billion looted from national treasury). Hires decrepit has-been / dictator's friend Diego Maradona & disgraced sprinter Ben Johnson as coaches. Perugia's Aussie goalie advises Saadi to go home
Nov 2003 Suspended for 3 months for failing doping test. Italian commentator: "If you don't play, why dope? This is like a Hitchcock film."
May 2004 Makes first & only professional appearance as substitute against Juventus. Leads absurd bid for Libya to host 2010 World Cup.
March 2005 Visits Australia as head of Libyan Football Federation, but too busy wining & dining Nicole Kidman to play matches. Back home, doesn't make cut for World Cup qualifier. Angrily resigns as LFF president.
June 2005 Signs with Udinese. Never plays.
Jan 2006 Announces retirement. Soccer world mourns
Posted by Jeff at January 11, 2006 05:53 AM
Comments
"You don't understand. I could have had class. I could have been a contender. I could have been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am. Let's face it."
Saadi Gaddafi, from "On the Soccerfront"
Posted by: Mystery Meat at January 11, 2006 09:46 AM
Sounds like he's got an Uday thing going on. Scary. Maybe a government cubicle is just the place for him. Wow, I wonder how he got the job.
Posted by: Patricia at January 11, 2006 10:36 PM
Soccer sucks big fat donkey dicks. Who gives a fuck about it, anyway?
Posted by: Ted at January 14, 2006 10:34 PM
>Soccer sucks big fat donkey dicks. Who gives a fuck about it, anyway?
Who cares? Most of the planet apparently (and I am psyched as I just got confirmation I got tickets to the trhee US first round games in the World Cup).
Posted by: Anthony at January 16, 2006 03:46 PM