December 19, 2005
THE INDC BILL INTERVIEW
A hard-hitting interview with INDC Bill, the Lord Voldemort behind INDC Journal, one of the brightest success stories of the New Media, & a man widely noted for his scorn for Intelligent Design, his unrequited passions, & his tragic inability to play well with others.
BA: Have you ever been sent to anger management?
INDC:
Back in Florida we called it the Lee County jail.
BA:
Ever put your fist through a wall?
INDC:
No, drywall knows when to keep its big fat mouth shut.
BA:
If you were a doctor, what medication would you prescribe for
Tom Cruise?
INDC:
Lorazepam 4 mg 2xpd baseline, 12 - 15 mg as needed for
manic episodes.
Trifluoperazine 10 mg, 3x daily for "Thetan suppression &
removal" Lotronex .5mg 2xpd tapering up to 1g 2xpd for
IBS
BA: Paula Abdul?
INDC:
Gradually taper back current klonopin scrip to 2 mg 3xpd.
Valtrex: 500 mg 1xpd suppressive, 500mg 2xpd for
acute reduction of
transmission, 500mg 2xpd - 3 days for recurrent outbreaks
BA:
Lindsay Lohan?
INDC:
Chlorpromazine 25 mg 3x per day initial, 50 mg 3x pd maintenance for A.
Nervosa.
Ceftriaxone 125 mg intramuscularly. Levonorgestrel 0.75mg as needed (1.5 mg recommended for usage related to
Wilmer Valderrama)
BA:
How much can you press?
INDC:
Incline, decline or flat bench? Dumbbells or bar?
BA:
Oh shut up. Has a man ever made a pass at you? If yes, was it
Oliver Willis?
INDC:
Yes, & No.
BA:
Ever pissed next to someone famous?
INDC:
No, but I farted while taking a picture with Mike Wallace.
BA:
Worst vice?
INDC:
Burr.
BA: Weak! Have you ever been asked to leave a bar or restaurant?
INDC:
No, but I've been "told," "dragged" & "dragged & then tossed
from." BA:
In terms of women, do you prefer clay court or Astroturf?
INDC:
What the hell does that mean? [Clarification follows]
In that case, I'm just happy to be hitting balls around.
BA:
How many restraining orders have been
taken out on you?
INDC:
Just the one [epithet removed].
BA:
What woman do you consider a guilty pleasure?
INDC:
I used to feel guilty about Hermione
Granger, but
John Derbyshire disabused me of such silly artificial shame constructs.
BA: Are you pee-shy?
INDC: Only on camera.
BA: Number of Madonna CDs you own?
INDC: Zero. If possible, that would be a negative integer.
BA: Do you think Mike Tyson got a bad rap?
INDC: Not really. Now Shaquille O'Neal, there's a man with a bad rap
BA: Do you think Kelly Clarkson should just go back to selling Avon & shut up?
INDC: That strikes me as a leading question.
BA: Smartest Republican?
INDC: Paul Wolfowitz, if he's a Republican. Otherwise, Rudy.
BA: Smartest Dem?
INDC: Hmmm. Well that's ... um ... ...
BA: What advice would you give Hillary Clinton for 2008?
INDC: On one of those fact-finding trips to Iraq, have yourself "accidentally" videotaped killing a jihadi with a hunting knife.
BA: To what do you attribute your Andrew Lloyd Weber obsession?
INDC: I saw Phantom in high school, & it stirred dormant musical tastes that I've since come to accept & ultimately embrace. But you know what? Deep down? I always knew. Since I was very young.
BA: What do you want for Christmas?
INDC: Final Christian Dominance over the Earth's damned hordes. But I'll settle for a copy of Prisoner of Azkaban on DVD.
Posted by Jeff at December 19, 2005 05:03 AM
Comments
That's the Bill I know and love. Didja know that he once killed a man just for snoring?
Posted by: Gordon at December 19, 2005 10:03 AM
what an a-hole. i'm surprised i haven't dated him yet
Posted by: kayla at December 19, 2005 01:00 PM
I have absolutely no idea who this is. Does this mean I am banned from BA?
Posted by: EssEm at December 19, 2005 02:14 PM
Essem, on the rare occasions when Bill's noticed my existence I've regretted it. Let's just say this is a pretty accurate portrait and leave it at that.
Posted by: utron at December 19, 2005 02:43 PM
I think Bill is losing his edge. This has been posted all day and he still hasn't made any unnecessarily insulting comments.
Posted by: Pile On® at December 19, 2005 07:09 PM
He's not losing his edge. He made them by private email(s)
Posted by: beautifulatrocities ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](/nav-commenters.gif)
at December 19, 2005 07:21 PM
Then you should post them.
Posted by: Pile On® at December 19, 2005 07:32 PM
"unnecessarily" insulting? My insults are very pointedly and efficiently and righteously insulting.
I'd define "Unnecessary" as something more like the fateful splurt of baby batter that resulted in your miserable conception.
How's that?
Posted by: Bill from INDC at December 19, 2005 07:38 PM
One of the hardest things to learn as a writer is that to be a good writer, you have to be able to cut bad lines. To be a really good writer, you have to be able to good lines. And after all, it is MY site
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at December 19, 2005 07:41 PM
Wait a minute - we got underage girls, politics, and "cutting lines" INDC. Are you trying to say that Bill is actually Marion Barry and he's smoked up in a Washington hotel with an underage crackho? Because, well, that would kinda fit.
Posted by: Dan at December 19, 2005 11:33 PM
"Bitch set me up!"
Posted by: Bill from INDC at December 20, 2005 03:28 AM
"To be a really good writer, you have to be able to good lines."
That was a good piece of writing.
Posted by: Bill from INDC at December 20, 2005 03:30 AM
I dunno about restraining orders but I had to block him from my e-mail.
Creeeeeeeeeee----peeeeeeeeee!!!!
Bill, ahem....you set YOURSELF up.
Posted by: SondraK at December 20, 2005 11:14 AM
Er, I believe you have that backwards.
Posted by: Bill from INDC at December 20, 2005 11:31 AM
aww man. Look what I miss when I am out of town!
Too funny. "Tragic inability to play well with others."
The magic of hilariously hitting the nail on the head.
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at December 22, 2005 04:38 PM