December 09, 2005
GET UR PHREAK FRAUD ON
Dear Diebold,
I wanted to congratulate you on 2004, another successfully stolen election. It's pretty clear now the Dems could run Jesus Christ himself & we'd still whip his ass like I-Can't-Believe-it's-Not-Butter. For my part, I was instructed to intimidate & disenfranchise black voters. Whenever a black voter approached the precinct, I started doing the robot dance & singing Missy Elliot's Get Ur Phreak On. You shoulda seen 'em run! Hush yo' mouth! Silence when I! Spit it out! hach-PTOOEY! Some even gave me money to shut up, HA! But seriously - I've been nominated in this Weblog Award shit, & frankly I'm getting my ass kicked. I'd appreciate it if your chimps could flip the switch & put me about 4 squillion votes ahead. Long live the New World Order!
Your friend,
Jeff
Posted by Jeff at December 9, 2005 12:10 AM
Comments
I voted for your effin' blog, man. Now nominate me next year...
Posted by: Jeremiah at December 8, 2005 10:55 PM
Bless you
Posted by: beautifulatrocities
at December 8, 2005 10:59 PM
Yeah, I voted for you. When will I finally pay off the debt. I mean, one night with Marguerite Perrin. How long must I suffer for that? This whole blackmail thing sucks...
Posted by: Patrick at December 9, 2005 12:09 AM
Geez, I voted twice already.
Posted by: serpentineshel at December 9, 2005 05:17 AM
"I've been nominated in this Weblog Award shit, & frankly I'm getting my ass kicked."
Is your vast following still angry about your cruel absence over the Summer-into-Fall? Hard to say. I too am surprised by the vote, and thought you woulda/coulda/shoulda got more. "Jesus' General"? WTF!? Fail to see the humor and all that.
Posted by: Redhand
at December 9, 2005 05:37 AM
Plows haven't arrived yet and I don't feel like trudging thru 8" of snow to go to the polls.
What?
What's innernet voting?
Really?!
OK, but if its hard, I'm not doing it.
Posted by: MCPO Airdale at December 9, 2005 07:39 AM
Okay, Jeff. You got my vote, although it doesn't look like anybody I actually like will be able to defeat the unstoppable force that is Jesus' General. Shouldn't a humor blog be at least intermittently funny?
Posted by: utron at December 9, 2005 08:36 AM
OK - I voted for you - today. I voted for Scrappleface yesterday. :) Don't think it's going to matter much tho - cause it looks like the Dilbet blog is kicking everyone's butt.
Posted by: Jenny at December 9, 2005 08:39 AM
I voted for you too!!! (and you know how much I love JeffG!) But I love you more!!!
It doesn't seem I will be able to beat these freakin homeschooled kids!! Everytime I get close they beg on a "debate forum" they have which is apparently these kids only link to the outside world...;-)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at December 9, 2005 08:43 AM
The Kos Kidz are voting for Jesus' Whozzit, but it's okay, because they never get to have the experience of winning ANYTHING, so we should throw'em a goddamn bone
Posted by: beautifulatrocities
at December 9, 2005 08:46 AM
Jeff, I expect to get A's tickets out of this...
Posted by: TF6S at December 9, 2005 08:46 AM
I vote for you -- in Grand Chicago-style Fashion -- once per day.
Where's my cookie?
Posted by: Margi at December 9, 2005 09:38 AM
I'd be glad to forward you the votes I didn't deserve in another election.
Posted by: Eric Scheie at December 9, 2005 11:33 AM
I guess you just need to draw more cartoons, Jeff, what can I say. In fairness though, I voted for BA; should I be looking for that check direct deposit or certified mail? :p
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at December 9, 2005 12:58 PM
When you're nominated for Asshole of the Year (and frankly I'm amazed that you haven't) I will offer you my enthusiastic support.
Posted by: phil at December 9, 2005 01:59 PM
Obviously a disgruntled Missy Elliot fan
Posted by: beautifulatrocities
at December 9, 2005 02:02 PM
Dear Phil,
Keep up the sweet talk, Sugarlips...
Posted by: TF6S at December 9, 2005 02:39 PM
I voted for you, boy, even though I will admit to having to work through some of my residual resentment at being abandoned for several months. But, no biggy. A few weeks of 5x analysis did the trick! What's a cupla thou compared to a restored symbiosis with Beautiful Atrocities?
And if you are indeed nominated as asshole of the year for some calipygian motive, well, that's quite an accomplishment!
Posted by: EssEm at December 9, 2005 03:18 PM
When you're nominated for Asshole of the Year (and frankly I'm amazed that you haven't) I will offer you my enthusiastic support.
Is Phil complaining, or in lorve with you? LOL
Is there really any honor in coming in third to J General and Dilbert, Jeff?
Posted by: Dan at December 9, 2005 04:57 PM
I can't understand why my nomination of your blog for best Libyan (African-Middle East) blog didn't get you into the finals in that category.
Fucking thing is rigged I think.
Posted by: Pile On® at December 9, 2005 04:59 PM
I may not win Asshole of the Year, but it's an honor to be nominated
Posted by: beautifulatrocities
at December 9, 2005 05:24 PM
That Phil, he's such a hater. Obviously doesn't have his phreak on.
Posted by: serpentineshel at December 9, 2005 06:04 PM
If Margi gets a cookie, my browser should get one too :p
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at December 9, 2005 06:19 PM
I didn't vote for you 'cause, like, you're running against Six Meat Buffet.
But honestly, I'm surprised that you aren't up there with Protein Wisdom's.
That'll teach you for taking the summer off.
Posted by: Gordon at December 11, 2005 07:18 AM
I guess that makes me the other one who's voting for you.
Posted by: Dave Schuler at December 11, 2005 07:46 AM
Hey, at least you made it to the finals (unlike a certain LGBT Blog that shall remain nameless).
Posted by: John from WuzzaDem at December 13, 2005 02:27 PM
I voted for you, but nobody reads my blog, anyway. So who the hell am I?
=darwin
Posted by: Darwin at December 13, 2005 10:23 PM

I wanted to congratulate you on 2004,