December 02, 2005
CURSED! THE CYBILL SHEPHERD STORY
1950: Cybill born in Memphis. Korean War starts.
1966:
16yo model Cybill
goes to third base with 24 yo Gray Davis. Later shags fat Elvis. Both men come to hideous ends.
1974: Director casts her in Last Picture Show.
Leaves wife & kids for her. Stars her in musical disaster
so wretched he issuesletter of apology. Movie
career over.
1985: Cybill in hit TV show, Moonlighting, about bickering private
eyes. Bickers with
costar, a Republican with no previous experience. Show
tanks. Costar goes on to
have some success.
1995: Cybill in new comedy about struggling actress, which
she knows something about. Having destroyed 2 careers via a) show
tunes & b) not playing well with others, Cybill does both. Slashes role of
scene-stealing costar who is frankly funnier than Cybill,
begins
belting out torch songs in the middle of shows, which makes
no sense. Show tanks.
1999:
Gloria Allred tells Cybill to run for President.
She doesn't, a move she will regret when someone else is elected.
2003:
Portrays Martha Stewart. Martha comments: "I don't screech & I don't scream." Advises Cybill to use tea bags for eyebags.
2004: Martha sent to big house. Cybill endorses
John Kerry, ending his political career. By now, all Hollywood fears
& shuns her.
See also Manolo: Cybill the Sibyl; the Cybill Shepherd Quiz; the Scariest Picture of Cybill Shepherd Ever; Cybill Shepherd - Get the Look; Simple Shepherd; Larry King Interview in which Cybill Pretends She Wasn't Jealous of Bruce Willis
INSPIRED BY PILE ON
Posted by Jeff at December 2, 2005 07:25 AM
Comments
She's gotten a lot of mileage on a low tank, tho
Posted by: kayla at December 1, 2005 09:50 AM
that is one scary pic
Posted by: anon at December 1, 2005 11:27 AM
It's probably just as well that Cybill never ran for president. Janice Dickinson would have destroyed her in the primaries.
Posted by: utron at December 1, 2005 12:04 PM
I think I'm going to start using Cybill bullets in all my posts
Posted by: beautifulatrocities ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](/nav-commenters.gif)
at December 1, 2005 12:27 PM
Who?
Posted by: Tony B at December 1, 2005 01:23 PM
Exactly
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at December 1, 2005 01:35 PM
Cybill has bullets?
Kick ass!
Posted by: Pile On® at December 1, 2005 06:04 PM
she's got a hole in her face bigger than lewinsky. no wonder bogdanovich threw his career away for her
Posted by: anon at December 2, 2005 07:03 AM
I never knew what my dad saw in her. I e-mailed him that troll pic which should be encouraging - as they say, Felis Navi-dad!
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at December 2, 2005 01:55 PM