November 21, 2005
JIHAD BLONDE
She came into the joint wearing a seething red burqa
micromini, Gucci backpack & stilettoes, & a thunderhead of
nihilism. Everyone watched as she approached the bar, her rear
suspension swinging back & forth like a bottle of hot sauce.
"What'll it be?" I croaked.
"Cup of joe with a straw," she said. Through the corrugated mouth vent, her lips were as thin & red as a surgeon's scalpel. I couldn't see her eyes, but I had a feeling they were the frosty blue of an iceberg & I was her Titanic.
"Cream?" I asked.
"Lots," she said. "I like my coffee like my men - weak."
Her perfume was annihilating. "Chanel?" I asked, but she shook her head.
"Cordite by Faberge." She had a smoked voice, like Lauren Bacall or a smoldering schoolbus.
"So," I said, "what's a bombshell like you doing in a place like this?"
"Community service," she said, & snorted a girlish, staccato machine-gun laugh. I had to know more about her.
"Where'd you pick up that accent?" I asked. "Kandahar? Mogadishu?"
"Tiffany's," she said, & we both laughed.
"You got a name?" I said.
"Daisy."
"Like the flower?"
"No, the cutter."
I would die for this broad. "Cigarette?" I offered.
"Thanks." Our fingers brushed, & hers were as cold as jello in Mongolia.
"Light?"
"No thanks," she grinned, & reached slowly for her backpack. "I've got just the thing right here..."
available from harlequin jihad
Posted by Jeff at November 21, 2005 06:16 AM
Comments
"You got a name?" I said.
"Daisy."
"Like the flower?"
"No, the cutter."
Hysterical.
Islam: religion of peace, religion of mysogeny, two for the price of one!
Posted by: Redhand ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](/nav-commenters.gif)
at November 21, 2005 08:01 AM
LMAO!! You are the best.
I like MY men like I like my coffee: bitter and murky.
Posted by: Margi at November 21, 2005 08:44 AM
If you again fall off the radar, I'm getting on a big ol' jet airliner.
And Tammy won't save you.
Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin at November 21, 2005 10:07 AM
Oh, just because:
"INDeCnent Bill eats Llama yarbles!"
Posted by: TC@LeatherPenguin at November 21, 2005 10:09 AM
Aha! So THAT'S why those damn serial novels have sheiks on the front covers.
Not that I would know or anything.
Posted by: sadie at November 21, 2005 04:05 PM
Just discovered you're back. Loved the "total eclipse of the fun" but disappointed you didn't coin it.
Hear the weather's still summery in Cali; it's freezing in Liverpool.
Posted by: Jonathan at November 21, 2005 04:25 PM
Just one fuse away from suicide blonde, obviously. What's in that backpack???
Posted by: Beth at November 21, 2005 10:43 PM
You are one sick fuck, and I love you for it.
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 22, 2005 01:25 AM
Oh, and I almost forgot--
Like my men: dark, sweet, and bitter.
Posted by: Attila Girl at November 22, 2005 01:27 AM
What A.G. said.
The first comment, not the second.
Posted by: Gordon at November 22, 2005 04:32 AM
"community service". fucking brilliant.
Posted by: damien at November 22, 2005 05:57 AM
Been hanging out with Christopher Buckley again?
Posted by: Steve at November 22, 2005 01:46 PM
Huh?
Posted by: Aakash at November 23, 2005 01:24 AM