July 10, 2005
THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD
Responding to nancy pressure-groups,
ABC pulled the plug on its new reality show Welcome to the Neighborhood,
in which white conservative Christian families confront potential new
neighbors & say bad things like I want a family similar to what we
are. This is too bad, because it's important to show that white
conservative Christians are hoseheads & the source of most of the
world's problems. Here's hoping ABC doesn't get cold feet over these
other new reality shows:
Get Off My Dress: Circuit queens in San Francisco's gay ghetto throw a hissy fit when the neighborhood is overrun by 'Normas,' poorly-dressed lesbians - many of them gardeners - with cats & no disposable income.
Hutsi-Tutsi: Amusing neighborhood conflict show set in scenic Rwanda.
Korean BBQ: Inner-city blacks prepare special welcome for recent Asian immigrants & their weird-ass habits, such as eating dogs, driving slow, & having a work ethic.
Miami Uber Alles: City ordinance requires Mexicans & Puerto Ricans to wear special identifying patches so that decent Cubans are not mistaken for peasants.
Blackball! University humanities professors unite to block job applicants who don't parrot their tired old paleoliberal canards.
Pardon-moi! Sophisticated 21st Century Eurowussies lose their heads when they find an army of humorless 12th Century Muslims parking on their lawn.
Take Me to Your Leader: PC Hollywood liberals crash-land in Bible Belt, something they have only read about in science-fiction novels.
Posted by Jeff at July 10, 2005 10:13 AM
Comments
You're back! RSS is the greatest. It kept me from wasting my time coming here waiting for a morsel of hilarity and sarcasm.
In any case I hope that the much tatooed "Republicans" got the house. What with Dad's "100,000 percent" answer. What did he mean by that? I, myself, am only 80 to 90%.
Posted by: John at July 1, 2005 12:50 PM
"Korean BBQ: Inner-city blacks prepare special welcome for recent Asian immigrants & their weird-ass habits, such as eating dogs, driving slow, & having a work ethic."
Do the Right Thing: The Sitcom, huh?
Posted by: Redhand ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](/nav-commenters.gif)
at July 1, 2005 01:01 PM
You forgot “Pledge Week”, in which NPR on-air personalities compete to see who can mention “CPB funding cuts” the most, all while trying to convey political neutrality.
Posted by: Logical Meme at July 1, 2005 03:40 PM
Thank God you're back, Jeff! I'll link to this tomorrow morning.
Posted by: Dave Schuler at July 1, 2005 06:38 PM
What would anyone living near SF know about "reality" shows!! p~~
Posted by: Dan at July 1, 2005 06:55 PM
Sometimes Jeff, I haven't the foggiest idea where you're coming from. I guess that's what you want, huh?:D
Posted by: CraigC at July 1, 2005 09:27 PM
According to this report in the NY Post, the gay couple - the Wrights - won. Unfortunately, to read the article you have to register. However, it's quick and worth it for it is America's Real Newspaper of Record®.
Posted by: Daniel at July 2, 2005 01:33 AM
Damn that was a short hiatus.. but you came back swinging in rare form. I almost snorted my milk and Cheerios through my nose when I read "Miami Uber Alles". I grew up in Ft Lauderdale and have Cuban relatives by marriage.. that was spot on. And "Pardon-moi" was great also. Thanks Jeff...
Posted by: Bernie at July 2, 2005 05:50 AM
Hey, boy! Nice to hear from you. I was wise enough to finish breakfast before reading you, so now there's no coffee in my keyboard and I'm still smiling. I'm glad to see someone else standing up for xenophobia. Happy 4th!
Posted by: EssEmm at July 2, 2005 08:00 AM
Do you have any idea how much Jack Daniels cost?? or how I'm suppose to dry my keyboard??
Great roaring post.
Happy Independence Day America (that's Happy 4th of July to the moonbats).
Posted by: Chevy Rose at July 2, 2005 08:14 PM
Spot on. Every one of them.
Posted by: Juliette at July 3, 2005 05:06 PM
HAHAHAAAA TOO FUNNY!!!
Posted by: Myrtus at July 4, 2005 06:22 AM
LOL - that hiatus seems to have crispified your wit. Great post. Btw., I think ABC must stand for Another BlueState Commentary.
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at July 4, 2005 08:19 PM
Boy do you make an entrance! Welcome back.
Posted by: Gordon at July 4, 2005 08:56 PM
Hmmm.
"Take Me to Your Leader: PC Hollywood liberals crash-land in Bible Belt, something they have only read about in science-fiction novels."
Maybe I'm a schlub but I think I'd enjoy watching that one. I think I need to turn the computer off and get out into the sun. :)
Posted by: ed at July 5, 2005 08:09 AM
I can't imagine why anyone would want to be the focus family on this show. It's an absolute no-win situation! If they don't pick the "right" family, they will be called homophobic, racist, intolerant bigots ect. If they do pick the "right" family, then it will be said that they learned their lesson about the wonders of diversity, which would imply that they were homophobic, racist, intolerant bigots to begin with. The only winners in this game are those who already believe that all White Christians are homophobic, racist, intolerant bigots. I guess some people will do anything for a buck, but this was a second class hatchet job.
Posted by: Todd at July 6, 2005 09:40 AM
I hope they at least got union wages
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at July 6, 2005 09:42 AM
Speaking of "There Goes The Neighborhood" -- is that you on this weeks' "30 Days"?? (Morgan Spurlock is really milking his fifteen minutes, isn't he?)
Posted by: Margi at July 6, 2005 09:34 PM
heh
i needed that
Posted by: Jane at July 21, 2005 04:47 PM