May 28, 2005
JUST SAY NO TO ANTS
Dear Bug Doctor,The other day I spilled a quantity of methamphetamine on the kitchen table. I managed to snurfle most of it up, but a few hours or days later - it's all a blur - I noticed that ants had swarmed on it. For a brief period, they became highly agitated - they managed to make off with several food-encrusted kitchen appliances - & then they died. In their tracks. Happily, I' m no longer bothered by ants, & am curious if meth is considered a good pesticide.
Pest Free
Dear Pest Free,Unless you're getting a good bulk discount, there are cheaper ways to control ants. Cleanliness, for one. There are surprisingly few studies on the recreational vs. toxic levels of methamphetamine in ants, but it's possible they were killed by the drug's usual adulterants: fertilizer, Drano, turpentine, battery acid, strychnine, antifreeze, & ammonia. This is why it's important you purchase it from reputable gangsters, preferably organic, or set up your own lab in your bathtub or gazebo. Think globally, tweak locally.
Posted by Jeff at May 28, 2005 01:41 PM
Comments
I never thought tina would kill anything beyond stupid club queenz. Saweet!
Posted by: Josh at May 28, 2005 02:42 PM
...there are cheaper ways to control ants. Cleanliness, for one.
I wish that would sink in to my roommate's thick head. Finally clean the freakin' kitchen and the ants magically disappear! Amazing!
Posted by: Varenius ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 28, 2005 03:35 PM
The ants are your friends and their blowing in the wind - the ants, they are blowing in the wind...
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at May 28, 2005 05:42 PM
"They're"... quatsch - es war fast perfekt
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at May 28, 2005 05:48 PM
".. preferably organic,.."
Whole Foods, anyone?
Posted by: KelliPundit at May 28, 2005 09:01 PM
