May 16, 2005
DIVAS ON THE RAMPAGE
Longtime best friends Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie, one of the great
comedy duos of all time, have abruptly severed their friendship. A year ago, things were so bad on Simple Life 2, it
required
surgical editing to make it appear the two got along. But
now things are officially over.
Paris's
only comment on the rift:
"A good friend is someone who is honest. I'll test them by telling them something & seeing if it will get out. If it gets out, I know that it was them."
Paris has tried to get co-producer Richie fired, but so far it's up in the air whether Richie will return. But any time you put divas together, you get fireworks. Or, as the saying goes, Women don't get mad, they get even:
DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES: Rumors of on-set catfights spurred by Vanity Fair cover story & recent fete for star Teri Hatcher: "Conspicuous by their absence were domestic divas Felicity Huffman & Marcia Cross, who threw a hissy fit at a Vanity Fair cover shoot in February when she thought Hatcher was hijacking the limelight."
Teri Hatcher & Nicolette Sheridan said to be off-screen enemies due
to
decade-old triangle with Michael Bolton. Four of the housewives
reportedly
fuming over Hatcher's salary, saying show should be renamed
The
Teri Hatcher Show.
JENNIFER LOPEZ: Dissed Gwyneth Paltrow: "I don't remember anything she was in. Some people get hot by association. I heard more about her & Brad Pitt than I ever heard about her work." Further enraged Paltrow by taking up with Paltrow discard Ben Affleck, & stealing Vogue cover from Paltrow.
Lopez also dissed Madonna: "Do I think she's a great actress? No. Acting is what I do." Mariah Carey also no Lopez fan; Carey on Lopez's need for 8 hrs of sleep: "If I had the luxury of not actually having to sing my own songs, I'd do that, too."
LINDSAY LOHAN vs HILARY DUFF: Ongoing catfight erupted after both women romantically involved with singer Aaron Carter. Duff claims Lohan egged her mother's Range Rover, & Lohan claims Duff tried to have her ejected from film premiere. Duff's song 'Haters' jab at Lohan:
"You’re the queen of superficiality
Keep your lies out of my reality.
You say your boyfriend’s sweet & kind
But you’ve still got your eyes on mine."
LAVERNE & SHIRLEY: Penny Marshall & Cindy Williams had intense rivalry, fueled by Williams' insecurity about Marshall's brother producing the show. Williams walked off the show, alleging Marshall got all the good lines.
CATHERINE ZETA JONES vs JULIA ROBERTS: Conspicuously did not socialize on set of Ocean's Twelve, bickered over who got best outfits, & Roberts furious Zeta Jones got billing over her.
SUZANNE
SOMERS: Three's Company star demanded raise from
$30,000 an episode to $150,000 & 10% ownership of show. Role cut
to 1 minute per episode. Sued ABC for $2 million, but suit
was settled for - $30,000. Went on to have successful career
flogging Thighmaster. In 2003, former costar Joyce Dewitt produced TV movie about the show that
portrayed Somers as a self-centered bimbo:
"I don’t want stardom," she announces, gazing enviously at posters of Farrah Fawcett. "I want superstardom."
KELLY OSBOURNE vs CHRISTINA AGUILERA: Christina: "She is the nastiest person I have ever seen. She is so bitter & twisted about life." Kelly: "She is one of the most disgusting human beings in the entire world. I've seen drag queens who look better." Osbourne also keeps voodoo doll of Aguilera. Related:
Christina Aguilera vs Pink: "When has Pink not been copying me? In her fashion, it's always like 'Gosh, I just wore that last week."
Christina on Britney Spears' engagement ring: "It looks like she got it on QVC. She's not trailer trash, but she sure acts that way."
CHARLIE'S ANGELS: Originally titled The Alley Cats, cross between The Avengers & Honey West, as star vehicle for Kate Jackson. Tensions erupted when Farrah Fawcett's hairdo became star of show. Sensing destiny, Fawcett quit show after 1st season & ended career. At 50, Fawcett posed for Playboy, recently has morphed into plastic surgery atrocity.
Charlie's Angels redux: during filming of movie sequel, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, & Cameron Diaz refused to socialize with Demi Moore.
REGIS & KELLY RIPA: Tabloids full of stories about bitter backstage rivalry between Regis & his break-talking cohost, claiming Ripa's salary forced Philbin pay cut, & that Ripa pushes features like her Book Club that allow her to work solo.
SEX & THE CITY:
Kim Cattrall reportedly miffed that
Sarah
Jessica Parker made twice as much as the other actresses on the show.
Cattrall
requested separate table from costars at Emmy Awards, refused to
participate in film version of show over salary.
CYBILL SHEPHERD: Shepherd so threatened by her sitcom's scene-stealing costar Christine Baranski she counted the lines each character was given. Baranaski's lines were reduced. Show went rapidly downhill, with Shepherd incongruously belting out torch songs in the middle of episodes. Shepherd also said to have long-running feud with Moonlighting costar Bruce Willis. Also: Arnold Schwarzenegger & John Ashcroft.
SHANNON DOHERTY: Epic feudress. Objects of hatred: Paris Hilton, Alyssa Milano, entire 90210 cast, Aaron Spelling.
ELTON JOHN: Feuds - Madonna, American Idol, George Michael, Taiwan, Boy George, Posh Spice, Rod Stewart, George Bush.
JOAN COLLINS: Long-running bitch fight with trash-novelist sister Jackie escalated after Joan started penning bodice-rippers also. Joan on whether her novel about showbiz sisters is autobiographical: "Here's a hint: one sister is overweight & not very pretty." Also feuding with Virgin Atlantic for making her remove hat, sunglasses, jacket, & shoes in security line. Collins: "Do you know who I am??" Reportedly couldn't stand Catherine Oxenberg, who played her daughter on Dynasty.
JORDAN vs JODIE MARSH: England's breast-battling bimbo babes
ROSIE O'DONNELL: Feuds - Pat Sajak, her publisher, Madonna, Howard Stern, Michael Jackson, Tom Selleck, Boy George (who called her a Pottery Barn lesbian), George Bush.
SUSAN LUCCI: Marathon Emmy loser
made life miserable
for scene-stealing Emmy-winning TV daughter Sarah Michelle Gellar, a factor in
Gellar's wise decision to leave All My Children.
DELTA BURKE: Plus-sized star fired after public feud with Designing Women producers, claiming they were insensitive to her substantial weight gain. Burke had her revenge, as the show never recovered. Now hawks plus-sized clothing line.
CHEERS: Shelley Long torpedoed career by leaving TV's top rated comedy. Sam Simon, Cheers writer/producer: "It wasn't Shelley versus Ted. It wasn't Shelley versus the writers. It was Shelley versus everybody."
Posted by Jeff at May 16, 2005 12:14 PM
Comments
Wow. I'm sitting here with my jaw hanging Extensively-researched psychosis.
I'm leaving the Army to persue a career in psycho-analysis. I'll beng my practice in Beverly Hills.
I simply knew there had to be an easier way to make a living. Probably not safer, but easier.
Posted by: Dan at May 16, 2005 01:58 PM
When I was in AF boot camp, it was tough, because you're forced to live in cramped quarters with 60 guys for 2 months. But we managed. The flight across the hall from us, however, was female, & they COULD NOT get along. Seasoned drill sergeants were tearing their hair out & going hoarse trying to get them to work together as a TEAM.
That's when I learned it was true - women don't get mad, they get even
Posted by: beautifulatrocities ![[TypeKey Profile Page]](/nav-commenters.gif)
at May 16, 2005 02:19 PM
This subject too distasteful (or just plain creepy) for me to follow all the links. However, I did check out the Farrah Fawcett plastic surgery page. Very sad, but I take issue with one comment there:
"Farrah Fawcett is looking to unseat Jocelyn Wildenstein as the scariest celebrity alive."
Nah. The scariest celebrity alive is, gloved hands down, Michael Jackson. I'll never forget the time he visited an African country and got off the plane with an orygen mask on because he was afraid of the air quality there. He blasted the country's government about it. They said, and I quote, "We don't have to listen to ecology lectures from a bizarre, artificial mutant."
Posted by: Redhand at May 16, 2005 02:35 PM
2 months? I thought bootcamp was like 2 weeks. Was that some kind of elite unit or something =)
Posted by: Palooka at May 16, 2005 02:36 PM
Julia was probably still angry that she had to look like a drowned rat in America's Sweethearts while CZJ got to be glamorous.
Posted by: Jonathan at May 16, 2005 03:11 PM
Is there anything more fun than watching a couple of catty bitches going at it?
Posted by: Daniel at May 16, 2005 03:52 PM
No! When I just a kid, I forced my long-suffering father to take me to the roller derby for that very reason
Posted by: beautifulatrocities at May 16, 2005 04:00 PM
*sigh* Look at all the fun I missed.
One can only imagine what the unknown actresses are like.
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at May 16, 2005 05:10 PM
Michael friggin' Bolton.
The guy starts out as a "rocker" (remember that?). Not working out, he switches to horrificly bad pop songs and becomes a huge success.
Now he's a multi-millionaire and he's bangin' everything that moves, including Terri and Nicolette. These two, who could've had anyone they wanted, duked it out over *him*!
And all the while, he's sporting that awful 'do of his.
The unfairness of it all....
Posted by: Daniel at May 16, 2005 05:30 PM
Every time I see Kim Cattrall, I can't help but think about the first time that I saw her on the screen. It was the movie "Porky's" and she was the "howling" Miss Honeywell. Unforgettable.
Posted by: EdWonk at May 16, 2005 06:24 PM
Now this is why I leave my cardbaord box and stagger over to read BA!
Posted by: Pappy at May 16, 2005 06:43 PM
Thunderbirds rule, Bombers drool!
Posted by: iowahawk at May 16, 2005 08:43 PM
Daniel,
You echoed my thoughts. My initial reaction was to reread the bit about Michael Bolton to ensure that I had not gotten it wrong.
Posted by: PlacidPundit at May 16, 2005 09:05 PM
"A good friend is someone who is honest. I'll test them by telling them something & seeing if it will get out. If it gets out, I know that it was them."
...or someone hacking my unprotected cellphone, Blackberry, finding one of those homemade porno tapes I made, or those nude poloroids, or me getting sloppy drunk and screaming it before I vomit and go unconscious... have I left anything out?
Posted by: Russell Wardlow at May 16, 2005 09:41 PM
"Do I think she's a great actress? No. Acting is what I do."
So that's what she calls it.
Posted by: Russell Wardlow at May 16, 2005 09:45 PM
Acting is so relative though (sort of how love is relative in Arkansas) - I mean, look at Turkish film...
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at May 17, 2005 05:02 AM
"I mean, look at Turkish film..."
No! No, you can't make me!
Posted by: Russell Wardlow at May 17, 2005 07:00 AM
"a Pottery Barn lesbian"
LMAO!!
Now, I have to get some towels to clean the coffee off my screen.
Posted by: Dennis_Mahon at May 17, 2005 08:46 AM
Masterful. Also, Joan Rivers at least gets an honorable mention in the scary celebrity category. And didn't she have some kind of feud with Johnny Carson?
Posted by: Rachel at May 17, 2005 12:13 PM
Hey ya'll. I got a troll who has a blog to make fun of me. I thought ya'll might want to have fun with him.
www.leftwingfarkle.blogspot.com
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at May 17, 2005 01:12 PM
RWS's movin' up in the world ;-)
I applied for a troll last week, but they turned me down again.
Posted by: Martin at Blogbat at May 17, 2005 07:25 PM
Oh, i want a troll too!
RWS, how did you get him?
And, i thought Michael Bolton was dead. that must be a zombie with hair implants.
Posted by: jinnderella at May 19, 2005 05:23 PM
You missed Elton John & Keith Richards. After John sang at Princess Diana's funeral, Richard's quipped "Seems like he's making a living off of dead blondes". John called Richards an "arthritic monkey" who should have been thrown out of the Stones 15 years earlier.
Posted by: Frank Gibbons at May 19, 2005 05:46 PM