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March 31, 2005
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Posted by Jeff at 04:27 PM | Comments (19)
ISRAELIZE TAIWAN?
Is China using North Korea to distract us from its grab for Taiwan? Eternity Road has a provocative piece about China's farcical attempt to lend respectability to its land grab: the 'anti-secession law' that 'authorizes' the use of military force to 'prevent the breakaway of the Taiwanese province.' (Hitler used the same faux-diplomacy to grab Austria & Czechoslovakia.)
"Beijing hopes to gain by intimidation what it's not yet ready to take by force. But there are other pieces in the game, most notably North Korea. Beijing has nothing to gain directly from its support of Pyongyang. It has never been clearer that Kim Jong-il's Stalinist satrapy & its clownish bid for dominance over the peninsula are gambit throws, intended to distract our attention from Red China's true area of interest."Negotiations serve no purpose. Like Islamists, Communists regard any cessation of hostilities as merely an interval in which to rearm for a later, conclusive strike. The sole arrangement that appears satisfactory is to Israelize Taiwan & South Korea: that is, to make them into nuclear powers, capable of deterring Communist aggression."
Siberian Light reports China tried to turn 2005's joint Sino-Russian military maneuvers into a mock invasion of Taiwan (Moscow wisely backed out). Certainly China has nothing to fear from the UN, which issues a million resolutions supporting the Palestinians but doesn't even acknowledge the existence of 23 million Taiwanese.
Or does Taiwan already have the capacity to build nukes?
Posted by Jeff at 08:04 AM | Comments (3)
March 30, 2005
GLENN REYNOLDS: CLAP YOUR HANDS FOR TERRI!
Glenn Reynolds, shocked at being delinked by Hundred Percenter for
being insufficiently rabid over the Terri Schiavo tragedy, made
a groveling apology today. Reynolds' Instapundit, the most popular
political website,
was ceremoniously delinked along with several insignificant
& frankly inconsequential blogs,
for being 'milquetoast' & showing a lack of revolutionary fervor on the Schiavo morass.
Alarmed at the prospect of losing the bulk of his traffic, Reynolds quickly did a 180 & issued the following mea culpa:
"I Glenn Reynolds, confess to having been insufficiently apocalyptic in my previous flip, glib reporting on the Passion of Terri Schiavo. Let me just say this: Terri ROCKS. I'm not a doctor, but if I was, I'd say Terri is no eggplant, she's not some beefsteak tomato, she's a REAL PERSON. She's just very restrained about it.
"Terri is dying, people! Her light is growing fainter! Her voice is so low I can scarcely hear what she's saying! She says ... she says she thinks she could get well again if children believed in fairies. DO YOU BELIEVE? If you believe, clap your hands! Go the window, clap your hands, & shout I BELIEVE IN FAIRIES!! Do it, goddamit!!"
So, do I get relinked? No, seriously?
See also Protein Wisdom: It's All About the Caring; A Small Victory: Bottom's Up!
Just to set the record straight: prior to being delinked with Instapundit et al, Beautiful Atrocities had posted nothing on the Schiavo affair, which apparently amounts to a Crime of Omission
Posted by Jeff at 08:31 PM | Comments (19)
March 29, 2005
THE JANE WIEDLIN STORY
We were America's sweethearts, but we weren't that sweet. - jane wiedlin
Future squeaky-voiced Go-Go Jane Marie Genevieve Wiedlin was born at 8:30AM May 20, 1958 in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. Learned to play Kumbaya on guitar at 12. Valley girl: attended Taft High School in San Fernando Valley (with Joan Jett).
On January 14 1978, Jane attended
Sex Pistols performance in San
Francisco that changed her life. Also in the audience: former Newbury Park high school
cheerleader Belinda Carlisle. The two met a few weeks later &
became roommates at Canterbury flophouse in West Hollywood. Wiedlin went by
Jane Drano,
while Carlisle went by Dottie Danger & played drums in punk band
the Germs, with soon-to-be rock suicide
Darby Crash.
Jane:
"The night before he died, I saw him at a club, & we were hanging out, which we never normally did, & he said, You know what, this is so stupid that we've never become friends. We should get together more. And I'm like, That would be great. And we traded phone numbers & then the next day he was dead."
With Jane on rhythm guitar, she & singer Carlisle formed punk band
the Misfits with bassist Charlotte Caffey (from the Eyes, which featured future X
drummer DJ Bonebrake) & drummer Gina Schock,
formerly of Edie & the Eggs (backup
band for John Waters pinup
Edith Massey).
Eventually added Kathy Valentine. Jane renamed band the Go-Go's one night at a Denny's restaurant.
May 31 1978: First Go-Gos performance at the Masque (in basement of porno theater). Belinda Carlisle: "Everyone in the audience was either horrified or laughing hysterically." Manager landed gigng UK ska tour for Madness, the Specials, & Bodysnatchers (7-member all-girl band that became the Belle Stars). Jane:
"It was horrible, everyone hated us because we weren't ska, we weren't even British, & we were chicks, & so we would just get spit at & bottles thrown at us every night."
In UK, recorded first single, We Got the Beat, with Stiff Records, which became underground hit. Back in LA, signed with IRS in 1980. Released Beauty & the Beat 1981, did not take off till new cable channel MTV began playing first video in November. Wiedlin sang soprano interlude on Our Lips are Sealed, which she wrote with then bf Terry Hall of the Specials.
Became first all-girl rock band to enter top 100 & first #1 (&
kept Joan Jett's album
at number 2). Second
album sucked. Band careened out of control, with Carlisle & Caffey
strung out on coke & smack. After Talk Show, Jane
was pissed she wasn't allowed to sing on her song Forget That Day. Unlike the Beatles, Go-Go's only had one lead vocalist. Jane
left band in 1985:
"I had stopped doing drugs. I was just over it & I was surrounded by people who definitely weren’t. They actually got kicked out of Ozzy Osbourne’s dressing room. Can you imagine? How bad do you have to be to get kicked out of Ozzy’s dressing room?"
Recorded solo album & single Blue Kiss shot to #77 on the Billboard charts. Had Top 10 single 1988 Rush Hour, from CD Fur, something Jane doesn't like. Arrested in 1987 while protesting wearing of fur & spent five days in jail.
Played Joan of Arc in Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure; singing telegram in Clue (exclusive Jane Wiedlin audio.) Squeaky voice perfect for cartoon voice-overs. Toured with Go-Gos in 90s, released new CD God Bless the Go-Go's in 2001. With Caffey, wrote off-Broadway hit Deep Throat: the Musical, about Linda Lovelace. Appeared on Surreal Life, where has-been rapper Da Brat called Jane a has-been.
Go-Go's trivia: Recorded original version of Johnny Are You Queer, but didn't release it, only to have it become cult classic by Josie Cotton.
Moonlights as dominatrix.
Posed with burlesque star Dita von Teese.
Wore leather bondage
pants on Jeopardy: "I'm always finding an excuse to spank people! Most people
deserve a good spanking. Women have better butts for spanking but men
need to be spanked."
Jane trivia: 5'1. Plays Ibanez guitars. Shares same birthday with Ronald Reagan. Favorite bands: Heart, Patsy Cline, X, Split Enz, Sparks, Roxy Music. Lives in Panama. Producing CD for (gulp) Paris Hilton: "She wanted to make a record that sounds like a cross between Blondie & the Go-Go’s."
On Britney Spears' cover of I Love Rock n Roll: "Britney is fine, but it's really hard to outdo Joan. I'm not sure Britney really loves rock 'n' roll. Do you think she goes to Pantera concerts with her boyfriend from NSYNC? She should have done Joan's song Cherry Bomb, because doesn't she still have hers?"
On Hillary Duff's cover of Our Lips are Sealed: "As Kathy (Valentine) stated, At least Jane will make a lot of money."
On stardom: "I think that I got real bratty & had this sense of entitlement. Then when I left the band & had pretty much nothing but difficulty trying to establish myself on my own, I realized fame isn't an easy thing to get."
On the Kinsey scale: "I pretty much consider myself bisexual since I have had sex with both men & women. But I don’t really go around chasing anyone, male or female, because I am married. My husband thinks it’s cute that I like girls."
On Go-Go's reunion: "I don't think the worry is, Are the Go-Go's going to get me back on drugs? Instead it's been, Are we going to be able to get along & not lose our minds? "
On her regrets: "The permed poodle hair - I hate that! White socks with high heels & the shoulder pads & the giant jewelry."
On Go-Go's gay following: "I think we are basically a bunch of fag hags."
Jane Wiedlin.com; God Bless the Go-Go's; Jane Wiedlin Lookalike Page; Dita von Teese; Amazing true-life story of how bootleg Jane Wiedlin tape saved morale of Gulf War Marine; Go-Go's timeline; Jane Wiedlin wallpaper; Go-Go's Pacman; WIG interview with Jane; Jane as Corset Kitten Pinup; Interview with Nardwuar the Human Serviette; Bangles vs the Go-Go's; We Got the Meat: All-Male Go-Go's Tribute Band
Posted by Jeff at 10:55 AM | Comments (21)
March 28, 2005
IT'S NOT LIKE PRETTY WOMAN
Posted by Jeff at 08:58 PM | Comments (13)
::: click :::
Amazing website, but I can't remember where I found it...
Posted by Jeff at 02:51 PM | Comments (19)
DR. FRIST ANSWERS YOUR QUESTIONS
Because a real doctor doesn't need to see you to make a diagnosis.
Dear Dr. Frist,My guinea pig has two tumors by its ass. My health insurance won't cover elective surgery. Someone told me putting the cage on top of the microwave is chemo. Will this work?
Broke in Flynn's Lick
Dear Broke,
Those are its testicles. Removing them promotes sensible family planning. Full sexual reassignment surgery unnecessary & unnatural.
Dear Dr. Frist,
I have environmental illness. I feel horrible all the time, especially in the morning. My wife says she's sick of my endless self-pitying whining. Should I divorce her?
Suffering
Dear Suffering,
Marriage is sacred. You have sick building syndrome because your house has dry rot. I'm also picking up a disturbance in the force, indicating a crime was committed in the guest bath. Or possibly the gazebo. Your lucky numbers this week are 19, 43, 21, 17, & 23.
Dear Dr. Frist,I'm a 23yo single man who's always been self-conscious about my long foreskin. I'd like to get circumcised but my insurance won't cover it. Should I go to Canada?
Human Pachyderm
Dear Whoever,
Are you a f*cking homosexual? Because no normal man is that interested in his goddamn willy. Canada?? Do you want some Pakistani coming at your manhood with a sharp knife? Find a nice submissive Christian carport for your unit & shut up.
Dear Dr. Frist,
I'm also a Senator, going through the climacteric,
the most f*cked-up exciting time in a woman's life. Lately I've
been crying inappropriately, &
saying crazy things like we need a supermajority to confirm justices.
I don't even know what a supermajority is. Am I bipolar?
Anonymous
Dear Senator Boxer,
You always were an intellectual sinkhole. I can get dermabrasion but you'll still be a crazy bitch.
Dear Dr. Frist,I'm a 43 year old woman who's getting married next year. My fiancé of 7 years & I are both virgins, saving ourselves for marriage, but he's worried sex will be painful for him the first time. Should I lubricate? Oil or silicone? Regular, premium, or unleaded?
No Drive-Thru
Dear Frigid,
'Saving oneself for marriage' does not mean there's no expiration date. How long do you wait for the shuttle bus before concluding it doesn't stop at your vagina?? Get some WD40, find a dockworker, & lay the goddamn pipe. PS Your fiancé is a homosexual.
Dear Dr. Frist,
I'm a smoking hot 25 yo who's always dreamed of being a weathergirl or possibly the next Mrs. Trump. People tell me my J-Lo ass will get in my way. Should I have lipo? I don't want my butt to look like Swiss cheese.
Cherry in Buffalo Trout
Dear Cherry,
For this diagnosis, I will need to see you personally. Call my office.
Posted by Jeff at 06:35 AM | Comments (7)
March 27, 2005
Suicidal Vatican Protester Offers Valuable Photography Lesson
esther wilberforce packard's Loathing of Carolyn Forché
knowledge is power jumps the shark
WELCOME TO MICHAEL JACKSON MEMORIAL HOSPITAL
Posted by Jeff at 09:00 PM | Comments (4)
March 26, 2005
POP GOES THE WORLD
Number One songs around the globe this week:
MEXICO: Volverte a ver by
Juanes
(aka the Colombian Elvis) who's been
compared
to Springsteen & Bono. Mixes vallenato & cumbia with pop
rock. Video
LATVIA: Prasīt aizmirsto by Double Faced Eels. Alternative rock. Chiky`s (bass), Reinis (guitar), Marka (vocals), Pauls (drums). Good song, sample here. See also Latvian curse words.
UK: E-pro by Beck .Features drum sample of "So What'cha Want" from the Beastie Boys. Video
SWEDEN: Las Vegas by Martin Stenmarck. Official Swedish entry, Eurovision 2005. Video of Stenmarck on dumb Swedish TV show
POLAND:
Mamma Mia
by French pop-tart
Shana Vanguarde. Dance remake of ABBA standard.
ARGENTINA: Arrancacorazones by Attaque 77. Argentine Ramones-style punk; band even copies Ramones album covers. Has played with Iggy Pop, Sex Pistols, Ramones, Motorhead, & the Lurkers. Band members were only 15 when recorded first song in 1988
FINLAND: Pettävällä Jäällä by rockers Yö feat. Annika Eklund. Good song
JAPAN: Get Right by Jennifer Lopez. Video. Can no one stop her?
ISRAEL: Isyankar by Turkish superstar/sex
symbol Mustafa Sandal feat. Gentleman
(also Top Ten in Denmark). Ottoman pop.
BRAZIL: Cadê Meu Amor? by samba superstar Zeca Pagodinho. His song Deixa a Vida Me Levar [Let Life Take Me] was taken up as unofficial anthem of Brazilian world cup champions 2002.
Posted by Jeff at 09:49 AM | Comments (22)
March 25, 2005
from THE MONETARY ECONOMICS OF THURSTON HOWELL III
"After the invasion of Iraq, there was no central bank printing dinars & no Iraqi government to put the fiat behind its fiat currency. The American military started handing out US $20 bills & expected the dinar to fade from existence. Instead, the dinar's value doubled against the dollar in two weeks.
"This is why the castaways value Thurston Howell's paper dollars: because whatever absurd amount he may have brought with him for 'a three-hour tour,' that amount is now fixed. Dollars are the most stable currency available on Gilligan's Island, & the government has nothing to do with it: if people are allowed to pick their own preferred money, they will pick whatever holds its value most reliably."
The Monetary Economics of Thurston Howell III; The Many Faces of Ginger Grant; Supply & Demand, a story by O. Henry
Posted by Jeff at 02:05 PM | Comments (6)
SECOND AMENDMENT SEX
And there's more for horse lovers...
Posted by Jeff at 08:22 AM | Comments (7)
March 24, 2005
THE LITTLE TOTALITARIAN
Once there was a little duck named
Giuliana. She said,
When I grow up, I wanna be a totalitarian!
So she joined the Commuducks, whom
many didn't like because
they broke about
100 million eggs & enslaved half a continent.
But Giuliana said Phooey!
She wrote indignant columns for Quack Manifesto, which
wasn't a real newspaper but a party rag.
Quack quack quack! she wrote, shaking with
fury.
When she read the Ameriducks were fighting the Islamoducks, she
was mad. Islamoducks were also totalitarians, so
naturally Giuliana liked them.
She
waddled down to the war, found some Islamoducks, & said I am your friend!
Can you believe they kidnapped
her?
Don't hurt me, hurt an Ameriduck! she said bravely.
Shut up,
bitch, they said, & she did.
A Euroduck could be swapped for lots of cash with which Islamoducks could
break a lot of eggs at police stations & markets & schools.
They put
Giuliana in front of a camera & said, Quack, bitch!
Some Euroducks had too much integrity for this, but not Giuliana.
QUACK QUACK QUACK! she went.
She quacked so well that she ended up fetching a really good price.
Unfortunately, a brave policeman, whose job it
was to bail Giuliana out of the mess she'd made, got killed in the
process; it was, after all, a war & not a playground.
When Giuliana got home, she was famous! People shoved cameras in her
face.
QUACK QUACK QUACK! she said angrily. She was a star!
Of
course, it was too bad a brave policemen was dead, & a lot more soon would be
thanks
to her filthy capitalist ransom.
But as Giuliana always said,
You have to break some
eggs.
Posted by Jeff at 07:18 AM | Comments (24)
March 23, 2005
::: click :::
via Frank's Journal
Posted by Jeff at 10:11 AM | Comments (11)
YEMENI EDITOR FREED
Posted by Jeff at 09:23 AM | Comments (2)
The aging tyrants of the Arab League met in Algiers this week. Their response to world-changing events in Iraq & Lebanon as well as pro-democracy protests across the Arab world can be summed up in one word: "ISRAEL! ISRAEL! ISRAEL!" Gaddafi, in a rambling speech many in the audience found amusing, defended fellow Sunni thug Bashir Assad: "Syria should be rewarded because it sacrificed for the sake of civil peace in Lebanon."
Gaddafi on Israel: "I cannot recognize either the Palestinian state or the Israeli state. The Palestinians are idiots & the Israelis are idiots." On Egypt's bid for a seat on the UN Security Council (which Gaddafi wants for himself): "This is a terror council, not a security council. It is a terrorist organization. Why should we expand it?"
Elsewhere, bloggers are showing their capacity for bad jokes: A DOG STORY; ANOTHER DOG STORY; THE BRITISH WORE RED; THE TRUE ORIGIN OF ST. PATRICK'S DAY
Posted by Jeff at 08:15 AM | Comments (1)
March 22, 2005
::: click :::
Posted by Jeff at 03:06 PM | Comments (5)
MOONBATS ON PARADE
I had the flu last weekend & didn't want to stand in the rain to see the Angry Left protesting democracy in Iraq, or whatever the hell it was they were protesting. But if like me you enjoy a good montage of Moonbats on Parade, FLOPPING ACES has a good roundup. More local color:
Providence: ANTIPROTESTER JOURNAL & KELLIPUNDIT
San Diego: INDEPUNDIT, DA GODDESS, FLAWED SOCIETY, DARLENE'S PLACE, CONSERVATIVE REVOLUTION, NEW EAGLE
New York: SLANTPOINT, EXIT ZERO
San Francisco: SHINING FULL PLATE
Austin: KEATH MILLIGAN
Montreal: IDF ISREAL
Posted by Jeff at 02:28 PM | Comments (3)
March 21, 2005
JIHAD: THE MUSICAL
ACT I - MADRASSA
OVERTURE
Mohammed, a Muslim youth, arrives at Ye Olde Madrassa, run by lecherous cleric Rashid, who raps about how Muslims will slaughter all infidels
RASHID: Jihad on the Dance Floor
At night, madrassa boys compare extremely limited knowledge of girls
MADRASSA BOYS CHORUS LINE: 72 Virgin Stomp
Mohammed receives letter from sister Nasreen, who wonders what life is like outside of burqa.
NASREEN: A Little Scratchy Under Here
Robert Fisk, masochistic lefty journalist, is beaten up by madrassa boys, to his delight
FISK: I've Been a Bad, Bad Boy
Rashid dreams of chain of bargain basement madrassas to continue youth outreach
RASHID: Just Let Me Get My Hands on You
MADRASSA BOYS WET DREAM SEQUENCE, featuring burqa-clad can-can chorus
ACT II - AFGHANISTAN
Mohammed & Taliban perform ritual pre-martyrdom grooming
TALIBAN CHORUS: A Close Shave
MOHAMMED: What I Did for Jihad
Mohammed meets American Taliban, who tells of journey from hippy dippy Marin County
JOHN WALKER LINDH: A Long Way From Whole Foods
On 9/11, Osama bin Laden gloats to lieutenants about WTC attacks
OSAMA BIN LADEN: My Bad
TALIBAN CHORUS: Pushing Up Daisy Cutters / 72 Virgin Stomp (reprise)
ACT III - GUANTANAMO
Mohammed & Gitmo detainees complain about weather while writing letters to secure their release
DETAINEES: Cuban Heat Mambo / Dear Mr. Chomsky
JOHN WALKER LINDH: (I'm so) Misunderstood
Mohammed receives letter from Nasreen, shocked to learn she's forsaken burqa, moved to newly-free Kabul, &d a paper bag store
NASREEN: Sensible Shoes
Lefty journalist Robert Fisk laments spread of democracy in Arab world
FISK: The Only Quagmire (Is in My Pants)
In ruined bunker, Osama bin Laden & lieutenants perform in motorized wheelchairs, reflecting on strategic blunder of 9/11
OSAMA BIN LADEN (REPRISE): My Bad
Mohammed is released to changed world: nascent democracy in Iraq & Afghanistan, pro-democracy protests across Arab World
MOHAMMED: Who Let the Genie Out?
Unable to find work with global jihad, Mohammed takes shit job with Lefty rag in England. On first day, beats up Robert Fisk.
FISK / MOHAMMED (REPRISE): I've Been a Bad, Bad Boy / What I Did for Jihad
Posted by Jeff at 07:52 AM | Comments (16)
March 20, 2005
ON THE REBOUND
"Nicole Kidman shared an intimate Sydney dinner with the playboy son of Libyan leader Colonel Muammar Gaddafi. Al-Saadi Gaddafi, 31, wined & dined the Oscar-winning actress, 37, during a private dinner on the top floor of the InterContinental Hotel to discuss the investment potential of the Australian film industry. He had originally planned the ultimate setting for the dinner – hiring the State Suite for $15,000 & filling it with fresh flowers & candles – but opted for the 31st floor lounge instead."
Gaddafi said to have presented Kidman with a diamond bracelet on the occasion: "He seemed disappointed when Nicole left, as romance was clearly off the menu."
In other Oz news, Seif Gaddafi became involved in a sex & gun scandal during a trip to Queensland in 2002. Four prostitutes said they had been hired for a three-hour sex party, & a tour boat operator claimed one of Gaddafi's entourage pulled a gun. The boat operator wrote to PM John Howard, asking why the Libyans were allowed to carry firearms.
Crown Prince Abdullah set to attend Arab Summit in Algiers this week. This should be interesting, as Abdullah's public dissing of Gaddafi at the 2003 summit allegedly led to Gaddafi's bungled assassination plot. UPDATE: Abdullah has declined to attend, due to Gaddafi's presence.
Meanwhile, Gaddafi said to have offered money to the family of Lebanon's top Shia cleric, Moussa al Sadr, who disappeared mysteriously on a trip to Libya in 1978 (the Gaddafis are Sunnis).
"Many in Lebanon believe Gaddafi ordered al-Sadr & his aides killed after a feud over money stemming from the Libyan leader's funding of militias during Lebanon's 1975-90 civil war. The al-Sadr family strongly believes the imam remains in a Libyan jail."
Al-Sadr's family rejected the offer, & Gaddafi failed to appear for a legal hearing in Lebanon last week. The family's lawyer said the trial would proceed in absentia: "The case will be treated as one of a fugitive from justice. Gaddafi is a man wanted by Lebanese law." A 1986 investigation concluded that Gaddafi had sent an imposter to Rome to make it appear al-Sadr had left the country.
In more trouble for Gaddafi, 150 Iranian MPs signed a letter urging their government to use all means to expose the truth behind the 1978 kidnapping & punish those responsible for his abduction. (Sadr was born in Iran.)
Gaddafi's rehabilitation now complete, the US is expected to refull diplomatic relations with Libya this year.
Posted by Jeff at 09:38 AM | Comments (12)
March 18, 2005
baghdad bazaar 1931, from iraqi pictures (click to enlarge)
IRAQI PICTURES Fascinating galleries of Iraqi life & personalities going back to 1900 (via Iraq Calling)
IRAQI OPTIMISM vs AMERICAN PESSIMISM
GREAT MOMENTS IN IRAQ From an Army journalist: donkey pulling broken-down car; getting kicked in nuts by mean camel; jihadis in drag with no underwear; national obsession with Tina Turner. Tina Turner??
WISDOM OF GIULIANA SGRENA: "In Cuba there is total freedom." See also Small Dead Animals: CUBA, A MODEL IN HEATHCARE
VAN GOGH KILLER A HERO IN NETHERLANDS:
"Ten years ago we heard in group 7 & 8 [10-11 years old] pupils say: 'We Moroccans take over the Netherlands.' Now we see pupils in group 3 [5 years old] - who can barely write – already write phonetically ‘F*ck you Netherlands'. Pupils in group 8 have a photo of Mohammed B. [Killer of Theo van Gogh] in their schoolbag, they see him as their hero."
IRAQIS RALLY AGAINST TERRORISM:
"Thousands of students in Basra University demonstrated against terrorism. The rally was not against the terrorism carried by the Salafi/Jihadists but against the terrorist activities of the religious parties in Basra & mainly the Sadirsts. The anti-democracy forces are facing their worst enemies, a foe that is more formidable than American or Iraqi official troops."
10 PREDICTIONS FOR LEBANON IN 2005 Including a number of Lebanese politicians seeking asylum in Syria
ARABS KILLED IN IRAQ FIGHTING FOR ZARQAWI Notable for absence of Egyptians & Iraqis, & preponderance of Saudis & Syrians:
Saudi Arabia: 94 61%
Syria: 16 10.4%
Iraq: 13 8.4%
Kuwait: 11 7.1%
Jordan: 4
Lebanon: 3 (one was living in Denmark)
Libya: 2
Algeria: 2
Morocco: 2 (one was living in Spain)
Yemen: 2
Tunisia: 2
Palestine: 1
Dubai: 1
Sudan: 1 (living in Saudi Arabia)
IRRELEVANCE OF POLITICAL ARABISM Well-written analysis of winds of change in Mideast, including increasing failure of Arab leaders attempting to use Israel as defining wedge issue:
"The rally of Nasrallah was mobilizational, like the rallies of the Baath party & the Socialist Union, aimed at shifting the topic to the Arab-Israeli conflict, & the confrontation between Syria & Israel. The underlying message to Nasrallah's rally was forget Hariri. It's possible that Hezbollah will pay dearly for this strategic error."
SCHADENFREUDE: Thanks for serving your country, now drop dead
Posted by Jeff at 02:30 AM | Comments (4)
March 16, 2005
WANGARI MAATHAI
Fabulously dressed Nobel Peace Prize winner 2004. Born in Kenya 1940. First woman from East or Central Africa to earn a doctorate degree. As child, sent to school only after older brother pressured parents. Came to New York in 1960 & lost shoe on first escalator she ever rode on. On coming to America as a student:
"When autumn came, my first autumn, the experience of trees losing leaves was, for me, phenomenal. Trees losing their leaves! They were of course very beautiful & different colors & this doesn't happen in Kenya. So that was phenomenal. And then they all fell, every one of them.
"And the tree literally went to sleep. And then the wind. You read in novels about whispering winds. It was only in Kansas that winds ever whispered! And they blew through those trees like violins. I never heard anything like that."
Founded Green Belt Movement in Kenya in response to deforestation which wiped out 90% of Kenya's forests. Began by planting 7 trees, largely female grassroots movement has planted 30 million & provided poor women with income & education. Persecuted by Kenyan dictator Daniel Arap Moi:
"It was not the tree planting that Moi was against; he was against the educational component, the civic & environmental education, because that touched on governance, touched on democracy, respect for human rights, respect for environmental rights, protection of natural resources, equitable distribution of resources."
Successfully led protest against
Moi's plan to build luxury resort skyscraper & statue of Moi in Nairobi's Uhuru
Park (which would add 200 million to Kenya's debt). Voted into
Parliament in 2002. Has been arrested, teargassed, jailed, clubbed unconscious, threatened with death.
On fear: "People often ask me why I was not afraid. The best way I can explain it is to say that I did not project fear. If you project that you might die, that you might lose the privileges of the position you hold, that you might be fired, you begin to focus on the consequences. But if you stay focused on what you want to attain, then you actually go right in there where many people would not dare to go."
Member of Parliament said curse should be placed on her. Moi called it 'un-African & unimaginable for a woman to challenge or oppose men.' Has been dubbed 'mad woman,' 'threat to the order & security of the country,' 'an ignorant & ill-tempered puppet of foreign masters,' 'unprecedented monstrosity,' &, by ex-husband, ‘too educated, too strong, too successful, too stubborn & too hard to control'.
On the male ego: "I'm sick & tired of men who are so incompetent that every time they feel the heat because women are challenging them, they have to check their genitalia to reassure themselves. I'm not interested in that part of the anatomy. The issues I'm dealing with require the utilization of what's above the neck. If you don't have anything there, leave me alone."
On women: "We did not have any guns & we were not going to use force, even when they used force to try to stop us. We are the ones who can change government, we are the ones who can decide what kind of leaders to put in place. And so we got rid of our fear, we refused to be victims of government intimidation."
On respect for the
planet: "I'm a Christian
& a Catholic. If you read the book of Genesis, you will see that God created other species before he created humanity. He created humanity last. But if he had created us before, we would probably not have survived. The moral of the story is that it is the other species that were created before us, which we need to survive. Whereas they don't need us."
On jail: "It is dehumanizing. It is filthy. It is crowded. You are put in areas where people will mock you, guards & even prisoners. You are put there to humiliate you."
On the contributions of women: "Women, I think, have a capacity to care for others, to see beyond personal gain. Many women, I believe, are at their happiest & best when they are serving. I myself am at my happiest & my best when I am serving."
On corruption: "Today's African leaders are comparable to the African slave barons who facilitated the capturing & selling of millions of their fellow blacks to distant lands where they were subjugated into slavery, only today they are subdued within their own borders."
On the impact of the Nobel Prize: "The message for Africans is that the solutions to our problems lie within us. The work we have been doing with the Green Belt Movement is a local response to a local problem."
On ethnic wars: "It is the threatened elitist leaders who are using tribes to arouse ethnic nationalism to cling to power. Such leaders speak peace while they are planning civil wars. In Africa it would be impossible for any community to train militia, arm them, kill members of the targeted communities (in full view of the police force) without the personal sanctioning of the Heads of States who are also the Commanders-in-Chief."
On Third World debt:
"The people who are really being punished are the poor people who never
received that money to begin with. Those who did business with our leaders knew they were corrupt, that they were not delivering services, that the money was stolen
& stashed away. Yet when you request cancellation (of debts), people want to pretend that you got that money."
On AIDS: "I may not be able to say who developed the virus but it was meant to wipe out the Black race. I cannot prove this but everybody knows that there are biological weapons. America invaded Iraq because they believed such weapons existed. Why is the rest of the world just watching, doing nothing while Africans are being wiped out?"
(Maathai denies this statement, but told TIME magazine: "I have no idea who created AIDS & whether it is a biological agent or not. But I do know things like that don't come from the moon. I have always thought that it is important to tell people the truth, but I guess there is some truth that must not be too exposed." Official website states: "I neither say nor believe that the virus was developed by white people in order to destroy the African people. Such views are wicked & destructive.")
On people power: "We must never lose hope. When any of us feels she has an idea or an opportunity, she should go ahead & do it. I never knew when I was working in my backyard that what I was playing around with would one day become a whole movement. One person can make the difference."
NPR interview; official website; Greenbelt Movement; Fabulous African Imports
Posted by Jeff at 04:01 PM | Comments (14)
March 15, 2005
EAT JANE WIEDLIN FOR PETA DAY
Posted by Jeff at 01:06 PM | Comments (9)
March 14, 2005
HOUSE GADDAFI: MURDER, MAYHEM, & BLACKMAIL
Saadi Gaddafi, subject of a gushing profile in the NY Times, is
jockeying to buy the controlling share of a well-known British soccer
club for $300 million. In the last months of infamous
2-year contract with Perugia, in which he's played exactly one
match, Saadi is coy about which club, as the Brit soccer establishment
is queasy now that Chelsea is owned by
Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich & Fulham by
Mohammad al-Fayed.
Saadi (who didn't make the cut for Libya's upcoming World Cup qualifier against Egypt) claims he single-handedly reintroduced soccer to Libya after his father banned professional sports & discouraged spectator sports ("sport is a public activity that must be practiced rather than watched").
Beside being rife with errors obvious even to lowly bloggers, the Times piece treats Saadi like a legitimate if colorful businessman, when he's essentially Uday Hussein. His father-in-law is chief of Libya's sinister security apparatus, & his family has simply looted the country & squirreled billions of dollars away in European banks while Libya remains impoverished & unfree.
¶ One of the catalysts in Libya's
decision to abandon WMDs was
getting caught red-handed. In August 2003, US operatives in
Kuala Lumpur watched
as agents of
Abdul
Qadeer Khan loaded 5 containers of
nuclear equipment onto a ship bound for Tripoli. This was just 5 months
after Seif Gaddafi sat down with British intelligence to poo-poo talk of
Libyan WMDs.
In a crack intelligence op, US agents tracked the ship from Malaysia to Dubai, where the containers were moved to another ship, tracked it thru the Suez, & intercepted it in Italy. Realizing the US knew far more than he thought, Gaddafi quickly changed his tune.
¶ Around this time, Gaddafi is said to hatched a scheme to assassinate Crown Prince Abdullah by making it look like an Al Qaeda plot, after an exchange of insults at an Arab League summit:
"Gaddafi accused the Saudi prince of 'making a pact with the devil' by supporting U.S. military forces in the region. Abdullah responded: 'Your lies precede you & your grave is in front of you.'
In the course of the bumbling plot, the Libyans transferred the money to the wrong bank in Medina, drew the attention of Saudi bank regulators by withdrawing huge sums of cash, & were left in the lurch when their courier got cold feet & fled. Gaddafi denies the charges, but hasn't explained what 13 Libyan agents were doing in Mecca with a million dollars trying to contact Al Qaeda (presumably not a difficult thing to do in Saudi Arabia).
¶ Gaddafi now trying to blackmail Bulgaria over case of 5 Bulgarian nurses Libya claims intentionally infected children with HIV on orders of CIA & Mossad. Libya now says it might reconsider the death sentences if the children's families were compensated by Bulgaria. Gaddafi ignored the EU's warning this week to immediately release the nurses, just as he previously ignored John Le Carre, Ian McKellen, & Noam Chomsky.
Posted by Jeff at 10:47 PM | Comments (7)
JADA PICKETT SMITH, HATEMONGER
Posted by Jeff at 08:22 PM | Comments (7)
FANGORIA
Hot glam-pop duo from Spain, featuring Alaska, a chick singer who sounds like a man, looks like a drag queen, & sings about transgenders. Video: Miro la vida pasar
Another video link, via Ghost of a Flea
Posted by Jeff at 10:45 AM | Comments (1)
WHAT MAUREEN DOWD DOES IN THE SHOWER
Posted by Jeff at 08:22 AM | Comments (13)
March 13, 2005
HILDABEAST: COMING TO AN OVAL OFFICE NEAR YOU
I've always scoffed at the idea of President Hillary, but this weekend saw how it could easily happen. Condi Rice gave an interview in which she described herself as 'mildly pro-choice': "We should not have the federal government in a position where it is forcing its views on one side or the other."
Reaction from conservative bloggers was swift, some saying they would sit out a Condi/Hillary race over abortion. One blogger told me he thought girls who have abortions should be sterilized & abortion doctors killed This is where moral opposition morphs into the American Taliban: we have American soldiers fighting overseas, Islamofascists who behead innocents & seek WMDS to lay waste American cities, but the only important thing is abortion.
This is Hillary's game. Come 2008, she'll have a
massive war chest &
the authority to avoid a punishing primary campaign; she needn't pander
to the extreme Left because they know what she is. Republicans,
on the other hand, could fall into the Primary Death Trap:
competing for the extreme fringe to outmaneuver their rivals, & ending up miles from the center.
I can't stand Hillary, but would hold my nose & vote for her if the race was, say, Hill v Santorum. She'd be less odious than Kerry, especially if restrained by a Republican Congress. But a Hill presidency would mean a return to pre-9/11 mentality, kowtowing to Kofi Inc., & - if she gets a chance - colonizing the Supreme Court with social engineers who'll find a new 'right' every week & genuflect to mushy Europrudence. And she'll have the Republicans to thank.
Souvenir Hillary mask; Hillarywatch; Condi: the anti-Hillary
Posted by Jeff at 08:28 PM | Comments (121)
March 12, 2005
::: click :::
(Don't blame me, blame Margi Lowry)
Posted by Jeff at 08:36 PM | Comments (7)
ANAL RETENTIVE
30 Dell computer employees, Somalian Muslims, walked off the job after Dell refused to allow them 5 minutes a day for prayer, as required by their religion. Despite the typical wisdom from the Lucianne.com crowd ("Go back to Somolia [sic], half starve & pray all freakin' day"), this is probably a violation of EEOC, & doesn't seem unreasonable.
Turns out Martin at Blogbat used to work for Dell, & as he shows, such behavior is typical. Among Dell's more outrageous illegal business practices: violated federal law by allotting only 5 minutes per day for bathroom breaks, & requiring employees who need more time to present a doctor's excuse
"This 'bio-policy' was explained as being modeled after military 'bathroom training', where army recruits were expected to abstain from any relief for literally hours on end."
Martin lists other examples of flagrant labor violations that aren't surprising. When I was a union steward, I learned that while some employees will pull all sorts of scams to avoid working, some managers will pull not just outrageous but illegal scams if they think they can get away with it.
Posted by Jeff at 10:25 AM | Comments (23)
March 11, 2005
WEEKEND KELLY RIPA CAPTION CONTEST courtesy Our Daily Ripa
Posted by Jeff at 05:57 PM | Comments (23)
THE WORLD'S MOST EXCITING BLOG
(via the
Institute)
NEW JOB TITLE: FISH EMPATHY PROJECT MANAGER (via the Omnibus)
KEEP YOUR COLONIAL MITTS OFF MY JUGS
ANGELINA JOLIE'S OMNIVOROUS APPETITES
Posted by Jeff at 02:10 PM | Comments (8)
March 10, 2005
SONDRA K & THE TWELVE MOHAMMEDS
A while back, I wrote a post called I've Got a Terrorist in My House about a woman who found herself living with an Islamonutter. Since then, I've received many emails from women worried they're in the same boat. Here's a sample letter, from a woman I'll identify only as Sondra K for her protection:
Dear Beautiful Atrocities,
I'm afraid I'm married to one of them Islamonutters too. It all started when my Italian hubby suddenly introduced me to his 'cousin' Mohammed. I'm like, 'Gee, would that be the wop part of Pakistan, honey?' Then he started screaming, 'I am God! Follow the rules!' WTF???!!!!
Suddenly creepoids were coming out of the woodwork & I'm running a
f*cking
hostel. You haven't lived till you've accidentally served 12 guys named
Mohammed
pigs-in-a-blanket. I had to put up signs like NO SHAVING YOUR
ASS ON THE GODDAMN COUNTER & DEODORANT IS YOUR FRIEND.
One day hubby asked me to take some pix of Der Weinerschnitzel with my Titty Camera™. It wasn't so different from our usual games, so I went along with it. A few days later the damn place blew up. 'My god,' I told Margi Lowry over cocktails, 'that could have been me!!!!!'
One day I found one of our guests
wearing my stewardess costume while another snuck up on him with
box
cutters. Needless to say, it was all stretched out. By the time
hubby got home, I'd polished off a pitcher of martinis. 'Okay,' I fumed,
'I'm sharing my home with a bunch of nancy-boys who are using my Nair &
wearing my clothes. ARE YOU A F*CKING HOMOSEXUAL OR WHAT???'
One night I found the twelve Mohammeds burying some suitcase shit in the garden. 'If you tear up my peonies, you'll need the microcondoms!' I screamed. I didn't think about it again until I noticed my tomatoes were the size of basketballs & my sunflowers were clipping low-flying planes.
When I overheard
hubby wiring money to Tora Bora, I wept: he was playing the horses
again. But the last straw was when he told me we couldn't have alcohol
in the house because of his mom. 'Your mom is a goat-f*cking whore!' I
snapped. 'Not Mom,
Imam,' he
said. 'What,' I said, 'are you friends with
David Bowie now?' WTF is going on?????
Dear Sondra K,
Either your husband is an Islamonutter, or he's a homo & you're living with the Village People. Get out.
Posted by Jeff at 04:45 PM | Comments (48)
::: click :::
Posted by Jeff at 01:39 PM | Comments (4)
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ITALIAN GOVT
Posted by Jeff at 09:38 AM | Comments (3)
THIS IS JUST EVIL
Posted by Jeff at 06:41 AM | Comments (8)
March 09, 2005
CELEBRITY TERROR ALERT
Dear Osama bin Laden,
I read about your brilliant plot to destabilize America & destroy our morale by kidnapping Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe?? Who's advising you, Meg Ryan? I'm not sure when they last rolled your wheelchair out of the cave, but kidnapping Russell Crowe is not going to bring America to its knees, & might even win you some support. If you really want to drive a stake into the corrupt heart of the decadent West, you need to kidnap a REAL honest-to-God icon. Some suggestions:
Jordan & Jodie Marsh: England's beloved fash mag slags/mortal enemies. Tony Blair's crown jewels. Tip: lock them in same room for a real show
Kelly Ripa: America's morning snort of crank. You can work out particulars with Regis Philbin, who may have already contacted you. Tip: invest in supply of foam rubber earplugs
Ben Affleck: Crowe is merely Affleck wannabe. Immortalized in Team America. Fond of talking about higher office. Tip: if Netflix delivers to Tora Bora, check out Gigli: the Director's Cut
Clay Aiken: America IS Clay Aiken.
Punxsutawney Phil and/or Mr. Blackwell: Often confused pop icons who surface once a year in tired old ritual to offer spiritual advice to downfallen West
Elvira: A legend in America, where turn-away crowds queue for her public appearances at boat shows & supermarketngs nationwide.
Maggie Gallagher:
Unwed mother/single mom who replaced Meg Ryan as America's sweetheart
by
fulminating against unwed mothers & single moms for
friend/employer
George Bush
Oliver Willis: Renaissance man: stupidity antidote, sex symbol, scourge of Big Media. Sometimes mistaken for Star Jones
Beetlejuice: Adorable phreakshow/movie star/celebrity WTF
Star Jones: Fag hag, Piggy Pudding fan, hostess on ABC hen party The View. Important: Make sure you get the real Star Jones!
Spongebob: Multitalented homo porifera
Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen: Fashion goddesses to the pre-curse set, straight-to-video black belts, Lolita-pop divas, closest thing to American royalty
Wilmer Valderrama:
Inexplicable chick magnet, beloved entertainer, role model for
our time
Jessica Simpson: Pundit, 7-11 fan, exhibitionist. Perhaps most important living celebrity next to Enrique Iglesias
Monster Kane: Colorful 7' 326lb WWE champion (for one night), half-brother of Undertaker, husband of reluctant bride Lita.
Llama Butchers: How do you say 'over' in Arabic? (BTW, Steve & Robert have said really really mean things about you on many occasions. FYI)
Posted by Jeff at 06:22 AM | Comments (26)
March 08, 2005
ITALIAN REPORTER ALREADY 12 MINUTES INTO FAME
REPORTER: 'COALITION FORCES ASKED ME TO DRESS LIKE ENGINE BLOCK'
HISTORY OF THE VRWC, PART I: 1943 - "Eisenhower uses a garlic press to extract sperm from Adolph Hitler’s remaining testicle & smuggles the smut to U.S. military scientists in King of Prussia, PA. A dozen unsuspecting war widows are impregnated during routine gynecological exams throughout the continental U.S..."
