February 14, 2005
BLOGSWARM SMACKDOWN: EASONGATE VS GANNONQUIDDICK

TAG TEAM BLOGGING: MICHELLE 'CANNONBALL' MALKIN & LASHAWN 'BOOM-BOOM' BARBER VS THE INSURGENTS: MARKOS SCREW'EM ZUNIGA & ATRIOS J.
Malkin: "We're gonna make
dinuguan* outta you miserable moonbats!"
Zuniga:
"I
feel nothing over the death of wingnut bitches!! Screw'em!"
Barber: "Honey, you'll feel the back
of my hand!"
Atrios J: "Heh"
The whistle blows. Atrios J runs screaming out of the ring! Malkin clips Zuniga with a chick-kick! Zuniga hits below the belt! The Kossacks chant: "SCREW EM! SCREW EM!" But Barber stuns Zuniga with a Pentecostal Whip. Zuniga staggers up: "I feel nothing!!"
Malkin leaps onto the ropes. "Feel this!" she calls, & drops him with the Mabuhay Moonbat Moonsault. The crowd goes wild. The ref starts counting. Zuniga tries to crawl out of the ring, but the crowd pelts him with Little Green Footballs, & then LaShawn is there. "Vengeance is mine saith LaShawn!" she declares, & flattens him with her Boom Boom Bodyslam, the Bible Thumper!
MATCH: MALKIN & BARBER. NEXT WEEK: BEAUTIFUL ATROCITIES VS OLIVER WILLIS
*Dinuguan = Midnight Meat aka the black death
Posted by Jeff at February 14, 2005 07:11 AM
Comments
I laughed, I cried, I did something else. Wonderful stuff.
And the mental image of Michelle Malkin in skin tight body suit....
This post just needs a few more pictures, preferably of "Cannonball" Malkin.
Posted by: Kaptain Krude at February 14, 2005 07:31 AM
I'm going to need pain medicine and a rib strap.
Priceless!
snigger--ouch...
Posted by: De Doc at February 14, 2005 07:44 AM
I gotta agree that this Gannon thing is ridiculous. If these guys had stayed focused on the White House plant angle, I'd've been much happier, because I think that's a bullshit maneuver. This focus on his career as a gay prostitute or whatever is pointless, though.
However, I have a sincere question: why is there so much venom directed at Markos for his comment about the mercenaries? He wasn't "expressing joy at the deaths of fellow citizens"; he was saying, basically (I think), that if you're going to charge off all gung-ho into a war zone to make tons of money off of what everyone agrees is an unpleasant business, then that's the risk you take. I'm not sure I necessarily agree with saying "screw 'em", but let's not mince words: whatever you think about the idealism of the Iraq hawks, mercenaries are in it for the money. And if, like Markos, you object to the war in the first place, then they seem infinitely worse: profiting from the misery of the victims of an unjust war (according to him).
Posted by: Mike C at February 14, 2005 12:15 PM
To crow over the torture murders of American workers in Iraq (who could easily find less dangerous work) simply isn't a normal human reaction. It's only possible when, like a Nazi, you see anyone who disagrees with you as subhuman. What a shriveled soul the Daily Kos has, the perfect voice of the Angry Left
Posted by: beautifulatrocities
at February 14, 2005 12:24 PM
But that's exactly my point- he wasn't "crowing"; he was saying "tough shit". And they weren't "workers", they were mercenaries. And he didn't see them as "disagreeing with him", he saw them as participating in an unjust military action that had resulted in thousands of deaths and would like result in thousands more.
That said, I feel nothing over the death of merceneries. They aren’t in Iraq because of orders, or because they are there trying to help the people make Iraq a better place. They are there to wage war for profit.
Read that part by itself. Then, I'm going to say this next part very carefully, because I don't want you to think I'm engaging in "moral equivalence". You, among many other right-of-center/pro-war bloggers, often "crow" at the deaths of terrorists. Markos was NOT "crowing", he was expressing indifference. Terrorists are scum and probably do deserve to die, but they are still human beings. Therefore, essentially what you're saying is that it's acceptable to "crow" at the deaths of some human beings who you believe deserve to die, but not to "express indifference" ("I feel nothing over the death of merceneries") at the deaths of other human beings. How is that a morally consistent position?
Posted by: Mike C at February 14, 2005 12:43 PM
"Moral equivalence" = unable to make the most fundamental moral distinction between civilians killed inadvertantly in war and civilians deliberately & systematically targeted & slaughtered as a matter of policy by terrorists. If you can't see the difference, I can't help you.
Posted by: beautifulatrocities
at February 14, 2005 12:56 PM
That's what I was trying to be careful not to do. Please, I'm asking a sincere question here, and I'm not at all disputing the idea that terrorists deaths are not the same as civilian deaths. When a person deliberately targets civilians, in my view, he forfeits his life. What I'm asking about is the reaction to those deaths. Even if we accept that terrorists deserve to die, that doesn't mean we have to "crow" about it. You seem to be saying that "crowing" is an appropriate reaction with regard to the deaths of terrorists, while "indifference" is an unacceptable reaction with regard to mercenaries (who are not, by the way, civilians). That's all I'm asking. No moral equivalence, no ambiguity, really.
You know what? Let's make it even simpler: forget about the terrorists vs. mercenaries thing, and just tell me why you think it's so bad that Markos was indifferent to the deaths of mercenaries.
Posted by: Mike C at February 14, 2005 01:13 PM
Mike C,
You're hopeless. You on the left labeling the security personell "mercenaries" is a pre-emptive attempt to render them sub-human. They were security guards employed to guard shipments, not mercenaries (one who fights for money, not defends) They were civilian contractors, and your and Markos' libeling them as mercenaries truly shows the craven idiots you and Kos are
Posted by: scottm at February 14, 2005 01:32 PM
I'm going to say this super very, very, very careful-like, because I know that wingnut Nazi BusHitler neo-concentration campers like you accuse thoughtful moderates like me of "moral equivalence."
Markos was NOT "crowing", he was expressing indifference. Read it again - "crowing" is more like "caw! caw!", whereas Marcos was more like "qui-NEEP, qui-NEEP," which is totally more like an Eastern starling, if anything.
Consider this: terrorists are scum and probably do deserve to die, but they are still human beings. And isn't it therefore logical that since they, being terroris scum human beings deserving of dying, we are all guilty of hypocritical indifferent of them?
HALLIBURTON!!!
And also, this is totally not "moral equivalence."
Posted by: iowahawk at February 14, 2005 01:32 PM
Scottm and Iowahawk, chill out. I'm not trying to render anyone subhuman or call anyone a Nazi. As far as I knew, they were mercenaries. If I'm wrong, then I apologize. Can either of you offer me a link explaining who they were?
As for the "crowing" thing, that's a different story. He was not expressing joy in any way, shape, or form. That's what "crowing" means, and your childish sarcasm and hyperbole are totally misplaced. I'm asking what I thought was a legitimate question, because I don't understand your side's view. If that makes me stupid, then I humbly submit myself to your wisdom. Maybe you can convince me. Why not at least try, rather than attacking me for no reason?
Posted by: Mike C at February 14, 2005 01:43 PM
"Maybe you can convince me."
Screw you. I feel nothing over your request to be convinced. You aren’t commenting here to trying to help Jeff make his blog a better place. You are here to be an insufferable asshole.
In other words, I'm indifferent.
Posted by: iowahawk at February 14, 2005 01:59 PM
You are here to be an insufferable asshole.
Now I'm really confused. What the hell makes you think that? Jesus christ, I asked a fucking question, that's all. You're right about one thing: I'm not commenting to help make Jeff's blog a better place (who the fuck is?); I'm commenting because I was hoping to get an answer to a simple fucking question. I really don't get your hostility at all.
Posted by: Mike C at February 14, 2005 02:04 PM
Behold, you have your answer:
1. When Kos says it about the Fallujah contractors, it's "indifference."
2. When I say it about you, it's "hostility."
Posted by: iowahawk at February 14, 2005 02:10 PM
No, this
"I'm going to say this super very, very, very careful-like, because I know that wingnut Nazi BusHitler neo-concentration campers like you accuse thoughtful moderates like me of "moral equivalence."
Markos was NOT "crowing", he was expressing indifference. Read it again - "crowing" is more like "caw! caw!", whereas Marcos was more like "qui-NEEP, qui-NEEP," which is totally more like an Eastern starling, if anything.
Consider this: terrorists are scum and probably do deserve to die, but they are still human beings. And isn't it therefore logical that since they, being terroris scum human beings deserving of dying, we are all guilty of hypocritical indifferent of them?
HALLIBURTON!!!
And also, this is totally not "moral equivalence.""
is hostility. As for the second comment, ok, I get your point. Coming from a neutral observer, what Markos said would be indifference. Coming from someone who routinely attacks your side, it's perceived as hostility. That makes sense. So you're right, I do have my answer. And for that, I thank you... I think.
Posted by: Mike C at February 14, 2005 02:18 PM
Every blog I post a comment on becomes a better place.
See!
Posted by: Pile On® at February 14, 2005 03:41 PM
"And they weren't "workers", they were mercenaries."
They were workers trying to earn some good money to spport their families. You try to convince people to drive tractor trailers through war zones for minimum wage and without the benefit of combat training, armored vehicles, weapons, troop backup, etc.
Posted by: nobody at February 14, 2005 04:05 PM
Jeff, why would you subject yourself to a smackdown with Willis? You're really into this "taking one for the team," aren't you?...;-)
Posted by: Rightwingsparkle at February 14, 2005 07:42 PM
I for one always endeavor to make jeff's blog a better place with my decorative presense and witty repartee-- here's an example-- Mike C., how 'bout chu jus' step on, before Margi and i decide to follow you home, kneecap you and roll you for change. If you're too dim to see Kos has all the class of a dog-poop in a bag of sweet rolls on this issue, even with the redoubtable Iowahawk inserting elegant thought daggers into your thick skull, well, it is hopeless.
And, c'mon, RWS, jeff can take smirky out with one hand tied behind his back-- he's been watching martial arts movies!
Posted by: jinnderella at February 14, 2005 10:46 PM
Damn Jinnji,
remind me never to get on you bad side!
Posted by: scottm at February 14, 2005 10:53 PM
I'm still trying to figure out how "screw 'em" is indifference, and somehow distinct from "crowing." But therein, as Iowahawk gently tried to hint, lies madness.
Posted by: Attila Girl at February 14, 2005 11:27 PM
I think we need an orthinologist to weigh in
Posted by: beautifulatrocities
at February 15, 2005 06:24 AM
Not to change the subject, but is it just me or are Michelle and LaShawn absolutely adorable in their lucha libre masks?
Posted by: Pile On® at February 15, 2005 11:37 AM
Jinderella, I did acknowledge Iowahawk's point, didn't I?
Attila:
crow, v. To exult loudly, as over another's defeat; boast.
exult, v. To rejoice greatly; be jubilant or triumphant.
I didn't think Kos was doing that at all. BUT, as Iowahawk so effectively demonstrated, I now understand why most on the right
1) Would have interpreted it that way, and
2) Would be disinclined to give a mean-spirited, one-note partisan hack like Markos the benefit of the doubt anyway.
I was never really trying to "stick up for" him or even be particularly understanding; I was trying to understand your side's position, because I just hadn't interpreted what he said in the same way. I'm not some peacenik chanting "Bushitler!", but I think a lot of you just assumed that's where I was coming from.
Posted by: Mike C at February 16, 2005 04:54 AM
Mike C.,
Our side's position???!! Try humanity's position. Those "mercs" as the ever-despicable Kos styled them, were human beings with families that loved them, that were just trying to do their job.
Kos displayed all the empathy of a rabid ferret. How is that not obvious to everyone?
Posted by: jinnderella at February 17, 2005 01:22 PM
