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December 27, 2004

'I'VE GOT A TERRORIST IN MY HOUSE!"

The Amber Frye Deaf, Dumb, & Blonde Award goes to Saraah Olson, who found herself living every woman's nightmare when her dream illegal alien husband turned out to be a murderous Islamonutter. Soon, her Orange County love nest was crawling with Al Qaeda sleepers, blind shiekhs, & hordes of young dusky-skinned men, all named 'Mohammed'.

This is actually NOT funny, because it could happen to just anyone. These terrorists are cunning, & managed to fool even Mensa member Saraah Olson. Here are some of the subtle signs Olson missed that could indicate your dream husband is a murderous Islamonutter:

• asks you out immediately after you turn down his visa application
• beats you & your child for minor infractions while screaming 'I am God! Follow the rules!'
• asks you to set up fake charity to funnel money overseas
• tries to recruit your son into terror network
• has creepoid friends who good-naturedly joke about America's streets running 'red with blood'
• rancid houseguests include blind sheikh, whom you later recognize in WTC terror reports