November 08, 2004
MARGI'S BLOGGER BLOWOUT
Margi Lowry; Margi's mules
A blogger bash sounded harsh, especially hosted by good ole gal Margi Lowry. When shed the door, about 20 dogs ran over me. Margi's hubby manages a pet store. Call me silly, but where I come from, they keep the pets in the store.
People & pets were already tanked on Margi's Purple Passion Punch: blue rum, vodka, cognac, creme de eggplant, tabasco, & propane. Cassandra was doing the Time Warp, Sporting Steve was doing the Gay Patriot . Juliette put a mop on her head & did her hilarious Teresa Kerry act until TC Leather Penguin stuffed some gin-soaked raisins up his nose & went her one better.
The vivacious Miss O'Hara showed up, still wearing that same green dress & cranberry clutch. ('Does she SLEEP in it?' Margi muttered kindly & caringly.) But hey, Miss O'Hara's a hoot & a holler, especially after a couple of beers. Then a fire alarm went off when Margi forgot her microwave hot rollers & I began to feel queasy.
I stumbled to the bathroom only to find - AAUGHH! - those 2 idiots, Robert & Steve, the Llama Butchers, doing wild MuNuvian llama extract. I accidentally did a line & suddenly everyone began to sprout fur & spit cud. Poor homeless Rae showed up pushing her shopping cart . Margi, who moonlights at the Beauty Pit, wanted to give Rae a makeover, so we took a poll:
Spirit Fingers videoconferenced from Hong Kong, took one look at us, typed FASHION KUDZU, & logged off. Jinnderella got turned away for being underage. Sondra K was shooting beer bottles right outta partiers' hands. Brian, Jonathan, & Martin were buzzing around Miss O'Hara like China on Taiwan; what is it about a babe with a Bible?? Venomous Kate slithered in like strapless swamp gas; I offered her wine & she laughed in my face. Things were rocking until Andrew Sullivan tried to crash. Did I mention Margi moonlights as a bouncer at the Purple Nurple?'B-List bloggers, only, BITCH!' she snarled, booting him into the pink flamingos on her front lawn. I made it to my car just in time to see Leslie the Omnibus Driver roll over it in her rig. 'Was that a speed bump?' she asked, climbing down. 'It is NOW!' I snapped, & limped home.
Posted by Jeff at November 8, 2004 01:40 PM
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