September 25, 2004
NIGHT OF THE LITTLE GREEN FOOTBALLS
News professional Mary Mapes: "God save me from this living HELL of little green footballs"
Besieged CBS news producer Mary Mapes has filed a lawsuit against Little Green Footballs' Charles Johnson, & several other "internet pajamacocci," claiming their portrayal of her as a "scheming partisan bitch-troll from Hell" contributed to an "unfriendly work environment" in the CBS newsroom.
The alleged harassment began after Johnson & other layabouts identified Mapes as the news professional who'd green-lighted the pathetic, transparent Natl Guard forgery. That day, Mapes found a little green football on her desk. Soon, little green footballs began metastisizing like tribbles: spilling out of drawers, exploding from microwave popcorn, pouring from the taps in the executive washroom .
Mapes said the footballs appeared to be made from foam rubber fluorescent green earplugs. The giggling & snickering in the newsroom got so bad, Mapes had to sprint to her office while being pelted with little green footballs. Mapes is suing Johnson for $112 million, calling him "a loathsome, bike-riding Lynndie England wannabe" who created her "own private Abu Ghraib." "I don't care if he did win a National Book Award!" Mapes fumed.
Posted by Jeff at September 25, 2004 07:48 PM(Informed that this is not, in fact, the award-winning African-American author of the same name, Mapes said "Prove it!" ) Also named in the suit are various other "pajama coli":Bill from INDC Journal ("A vile, verminous little bedbug")
Michelle Malkin ("Where's internment now that we need it?")
Powerline ("Minneapolis?? Are you kidding me?")
Allahpundit ("Cheap Ramadan trash")
Ace of â™ ("A gob-smackingly vile little paramecium")
Rusty from MyPetJawa ("I've seen panty stains with better syntax")
Instapundit ("Proof you can jerk off & blog at the same time")
Jeff G from Protein Wisdom ("A suppurating sore with comments & trackback")
Wonkette ("Just because")Comments