August 08, 2004
THE EXPLOSIVE TASTE OF MECCA COLA
"One of the perversions of capitalism lies in the generation within oneself of the most brutal and the most inhumane part of oneself." —From non-non-profit Mecca Cola Corp.
Capitalist greed knows no religion, as evidenced by the hot new cottage industry of 'Islamic' beverages & snacks in Europe & the Middle East. Much like overpriced faux-Green products at Whole Foods, these Islamophile brands essentially represent 'alternative greed,' & aren't above exploiting religious imagery to pocket a few shekels.
Unlike the Paul Newman line, none of these brands are non-profit, tho some claim to donate a portion to Islamic charities (Hamas? Hezbollah?), drawing the attention of Western terror watchers. And Arabs are buying them, unaware that boycotting 'American' goods does more damage to locals than multinationals (Coke is one of the biggest employers in the industrial-challenged Mideast). Choice of beverage:
Mecca Cola. France, 2002. Motto: Don't drink stupid, drink with commitment! Founded by shameless entrepreneur Tawfiq Mathlouthi, former host of anti-Semitic radio show. Kinetic TV ads feature thirst-slaked drinkers, Lynndie England, & Palestinians fleeing IDF tanks. Claims 20% of profits go to 'charities.' Mathlouthi says he abjures violence, but radio statements suggest otherwise: "It's not terrorism, it's resistance." "What 'Israelis'? All I know is the Zionist entity." Bizarrely claims cola named not after holy city, but lost American Indian tribe by same name, to remember that the first genocide was in the US & the first terrorist act was there.' Website features special fatwa page. Cans carry warning: Please do not mix with alcohol!
Qibla Cola. UK, 2003. "The ethical choice." Motto: Liberate your taste! Named for Muslim ritual of facing Mecca to pray. Claims donates 10% to 'charities'. Came in last in Guardian's blind taste test. By coincidence, shares same name as jihadi terror group in South Africa. Also comes in Qibla Fantasy, "an orange infusion, for those exercising their intellects in leading the crowd rather than following it." Press pack (pdf) lists contact as Tariq Ali. Could the Chomskyite extremist be moonlighting?
Zam Zam Cola. Founded 1954 as Iranian partner of Pepsi. When Ayatollah Khomeini gave Pepsi the boot, was taken over by sinister-sounding Foundation of the Dispossessed, aka conservative clerics' cookie jar. Named for holy spring in Mecca. Sales soared after Saudi boycott of American goods in response to intifada. Also produces 300 million bottles of non-alcoholic beer.
Muslim UP. France, 2003. 7-UP knockoff, now comes in cola, orange, & citron. Website features danceable Al-Jazeera meets It's A Small World virtual tour of factory. Peppy ad campaign: Je choisie ma consomation!. Site features 'Who Are Us?' garbled couscous of advert-prop: "It is so by proposing an alternative of purchase so small it is which will prevent these neo-executioners of the new century from buying maybe the munition of excess a ball, a life."
Cola Turka (site features rockin theme song). "Drink Cola Turka & become Turkish!" Funny ad campaign starring Chevy Chase. Launched to brisk sales in 2003, one day after US arrested 11 Turkish soldiers, leading to nationwide protests. Son of Turkish PM is distributor, while son of rival ex-PM is Coke distributor. Coke said to have cut prices 10% since Cola Turka's debut.
Arab Cola. France. "Le Cola du Monde Arabe." Launched by Moroccan Frenchman, Gerard LeBlanc who calls Mecca Cola 'dangerous' because of its religious reference. LeBlanc: "I don't believe their donation credo." Comes in special Ramadan edition, as well as Arab Toufaha, Arab Monada, & Arab Limouna.
Amrat Cola. Pakistan. Amrat = 'life' in Urdu. Successfully launched in April 2003 at height of Iraq War: "Amrat Cola is the only qualitative Pakistan Cola that is being marketed throughout Pakistan & one day, God willing, it will be a brand demanded the world over."
Arafat Crisps. Corn chips featuring image of Nobel Peace Prize winner Yasser Arafat in trademark headscarf, crushing chips with feet. "Hand in hand we are building our future. The more you buy, the more you build." Comes in cheese, tomato, & paprika. Company claims 4% profits will go to Palestinians. Also Hero Chips, featuring Palestinian youth throwing rock at IDF tank.
Also: Star Cola. UAE. Sales up 40% during intifada, when Gulf clerics called for boycott of American goods. Coming soon: Meccaburger, Meccadonalds, HFC (Halal Fried Chicken). Further reading:
Freedom Coke: The Arab world's foolish boycott of American food by Jon Fasman
Our Man in the Land of Zam Zam Cola by Christina Lamb
Note: Neither Coke nor Pepsi has sued over flagrant copyright infringement
Posted by Jeff at August 8, 2004 09:09 AM