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June 27, 2004

A TALE OF TWO MOVIES: FAHRENHEIT 9/11 VS PASSION OF THE CHRIST

A.O. Scott, New York Times:

F9/11: Mr. Moore's populist instincts have never been sharper...he is a credit to the republic.

Passion: Gibson has exploited the popular appetite for terror and gore for what he and his allies see as a higher end.

Michael Wilmington, Chicago Tribune:

F9/11: Received both the first prize and the longest continuous standing ovation in the history of the Cannes Film Festival and it wasn't because of some cliched French antipathy to America.

Passion: Lacks artistic and even spiritual balance.

William Arnold, Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

F9/11: A masterful job of ridiculing the personality, intellect and employment resumé of George W. Bush ... could well become the docu-equivalent of "The Passion of the Christ" and even affect the presidential election.

Passion: Despite Gibson's claim that he's finally telling "the true story," his movie strikes me as less faithful to the Gospels than the earlier Christ movies. Crammed full of scenes and dialogue and minor characters that he's completely made up.

Jami Bernard, NY Daily News:

F9/11: I was in tears after first seeing "Fahrenheit" at Cannes.

Passion: The most virulently anti-Semitic movie made since the German propaganda films of World War II.

Ty Burr, Boston Globe

F9/11: Should be seen because it takes off the gloves and wades into the fray, because it synthesizes the anti-Bush argument like no other work before it, and because it forces you to decide for yourself exactly where passion starts to warp point of view.

Passion: If you come seeking theological subtlety, let alone such modern inventions as psychological depth, you'll walk away battered and empty-handed

David Edelstein, Slate:

F9/11: After the screening, a friend railed that Moore was exploiting a mother's grief. I suggested that the scene made moral sense in the context of the director's universe, that the exploitation is justified if it saves the lives of other mothers' sons.

Passion: A two-hour-and-six-minute snuff movie—The Jesus Chainsaw Massacre—that thinks it's an act of faith.

[Note: Mr. Edelstein feels this quote misrepresents his review. You decide.]

David Elliott, San Diego Union Tribune:

F9/11: He spends time with a caring, patriotic woman reduced to near-ruin when her son is killed in Iraq. And shows how Iraqi mothers respond, too. Call that "demagogic," if you have an agenda in place of a conscience.

Passion: "Single-mindedness is all very well in cows or baboons," wrote Aldous Huxley, but "(for those) claiming to belong to the same species as Shakespeare, it is simply disgraceful."

Eric Harrison, Houston Chronicle:

F9/11: (Moore) is an indispensable treasure, and his imperfections are part of the reason, because they mark him as real.

Passion: It's awful because everything he knows about storytelling has been swept aside by proselytizing zeal.

J.Hoberman, Village Voice:

F9/11: Let us not forget that Dana Carvey did more than anyone in America, save Ross Perot, to drive Bush père from the White House. There are sequences in Fahrenheit 9/11 so devastatingly on target as to inspire the thought that Moore might similarly help evict the son.

Passion: Sitting through the film's garishly staged suffering, one might well ponder the millions of people—victims of crusades, inquisitions, colonial conquests, the slave trade, political terror, and genocide—who have been tortured and killed in Christ's name.

Ann Hornaday, Washington Post:

F9/11: Moore exercises admirable forbearance ... his finest artistic moment.

Passion: Gibson has exhibited a startling lack of concern for historical context.

Mick LaSalle, SF Chronicle:

F9/11: What both exalts the experience and grounds the picture is Moore's essentially patriotic faith that a sincere, invested argument can get a hearing in America.

Passion: The story doesn't make Gibson bigger; he makes it smaller.

Tom Long, Detroit News:

F9/11: A film every citizen of voting age in America should see.

Passion: The feel-awful movie of a lifetime, a filmed bloodletting like no other on record.

Eric Lurio, Greenwich Village Gazette:

F9/11: Every Independent voter should see this movie and vote for Kerry

Passion: A snuff film.

Geoff Pevre, Toronto Star:

F9/11: A plea for America's deliverance ... it may not be an argument one agrees with, and it may be unbalanced and propagandistic, but it is both convincingly argued and sincerely motivated.

Passion: A work of fundamentalist pornography.

Rex Reed, New York Observer:

F9/11: There are multitudes of shattering, seminal moments in his brilliant Bush-whacking documentary.

Passion: A movie that doesn’t say much of anything new. Been there, done that, and you know how it all comes out already.

Carrie Rickey, Philadelphia Inquirer:

F9/11: A magnificent piece of filmmaking.

Passion: The first spiritual splatter film.

James Rocchi, Netflix:

F9/11: None of this is pretty. But it is real, in a way that we rarely get from major news outlets.

Passion: A horrifyingly violent, grisly film about state-sponsored torture and execution.

David Sterrit, Christian Science Monitor:

F9/11: Is the label "documentary" appropriate for thisy activist movie? Of course it is, unless you cling to some idealized notion of "objective" film.

Passion: The highly selective screenplay includes only a few of Jesus' words, spoken in occasional flashback scenes.

Kenneth Turan, Los Angeles Times:

F9/11: Moore makes a persuasive and unrelenting case that there is another way to look at things beyond the version we've been given.

Passion: A film so narrowly focused as to be inaccessible for all but the devout.

James Verniere, Boston Herald:

F9/11: At a time when the film industry is turning out sugarcoated, content-free junk, Moore has given American viewers a renewed taste for raw meat.

Passion: An exercise in sadomasochistic bullying.

Jeffrey Westhoff, Northwest Herald:

F9/11: Moore’s greatest contribution to the national debate is that he pulls back the veil on the bloodshed of a war that has been sanitized for the American public’s consumption.

Passion: The worst thing Gibson has done has been to allow his celebrity to eclipse the film

William Wolf, Wolf Entertainment:

F9/11: Anyone watching it might be stirred in the face of the total picture presented, especially on the mess the nation was misled into in what increasingly been coming apparent as a giant, costly fiasco and a diversion from the real fight against terrorism.

Passion: Gibson has every right to any interpretation he chooses and to make the film he envisions. But the rest of us have the right, and perhaps the obligation, to complain about his narrowly focused, extremely violent, ultimately exploitative personal indulgence.

All reviews available at Rotten Tomatoes

Posted by Jeff at 09:03 AM | Comments (0)

June 19, 2004

DRACULA'S DAUGHTER

Raghad Hussein

My name is Raghad Hussein and mine is a hard-luck tale. I grew up in the kind of fabulous wealth and privilege you just can't f*cking imagine. I was the Paris Hilton of Baghdad. Daddy was a psychopath but he had his moments. My brothers Uday and Whozzit were animals. Let's face it, I'm the only normal one in the bunch, like Marilyn Munster.

My husband was a Baathist thug but he was my thug until Daddy killed him. And then that stupid Supreme Court elected George Bush, and, well, you know the rest. Now I'm stuck in Amman, which is frankly a pit toilet.

Can you believe people are criticizing me because I recently had a boob job, a tummy tuck, a nosejob, & a facelift?? Or because I love $hopping and doing the stairmaster and having my hair coiffed? Do you say coiffed?

Yes, I asked Mr. Ashcroft to return the jewels from our 5000 presidential palaces, but that is our rightful property. A girl has to eat. As Chelsea Clinton would say, Don't hold my Daddy's sociopathy against me. If any agents are reading this, I could use a big fat book deal. Also I do a little singing and tap dancing. Perhaps that grotesquely obese honorary Baathist Michael Moore could get me some exposure.

I could make it worth your while, Mr. Moore. Hell, I've done worse.

Posted by Jeff at 10:55 AM | Comments (0)

June 12, 2004

BAD BEHAVIOR

Even by the predatory xxxtremes of ravening harpies, J-Lo is a Beautiful Atrocity. Her entourage is longer than the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade and less orderly, whole cities have risen in the shadow of her ego, and her omnivorous man-grazing impresses even me. Her latest impulse purchase, serial sire and professional douchebag Marc Anthony (not the porn star) hasn't dimmed her glare, at least judging by the number of Yahoo groups devoted to her. As a public service, Beautiful Atrocitiesâ„¢ provides the following fan clubs for your perusal.

Jennifer Lopez Hate Club : "If you hate Jennifer Lopez then this is the place for you!"
Anti-Jennifer Lopez : "Don't even bother staying if you love Lopez, coz you'll just be removed from this club."
Jennifer Lopez Haters Club : "This club is dedicated to everyone who hates this dumb bitch."
I Hate J-Ho: "The hottest place to talk trash about the nastiest chick in the music business!"
J-Lo Smells Like Poo: "Jennifer Lopez's breath smells like something died then crawled into her mouth."
Everyone Hates Jennifer Lopez: "Jennifer Lopez is crazy!"
J-Lo is Old and Needs to Go!: "Jennifer Lopez is far beyond 30.She was dancing with Janet Jackson when I was a baby."
J-Ho: "For everyone who hates that big ho!"
J to the Ello: "Write a little about her and why you hate her."
Hatin Jennifer Club
Jennifer Lopez is Old and Nobody Likes Her
Mmmsavoi: Fat J-Lo Club: "Maigen auch Sie jlo nicht? Ist sie fett? Ist sie arrogant?"
J-Lo is Jealous of Monique Taitague: "Jennifer Lopez, The Ugly Old Actress and Fat Butt singer, is jealous of The American Princess Monique Desiree Taitague from Vallejo,California."

This last is suspicious, since we also uncovered the following:
Monique Taitague Fans Hate J-Lo!: "The World Loves Monique Desiree Taitague from Vallejo,California."
Monique Taitague American Princess 4Ever
Monique Taitague is Goddess
Upcoming Artist Monique Taitague!: "The Latin Superstar Monique Desiree Taitague from Vallejo,California."

An Amazon search turns up no CDs by the Latin Superstar from Vallejo.

Posted by Jeff at 08:00 AM | Comments (21)