June 19, 2004
DRACULA'S DAUGHTER
Raghad Hussein
My name is Raghad Hussein and mine is a hard-luck tale. I grew up in the kind of fabulous wealth and privilege you just can't f*cking imagine. I was the Paris Hilton of Baghdad. Daddy was a psychopath but he had his moments. My brothers Uday and Whozzit were animals. Let's face it, I'm the only normal one in the bunch, like Marilyn Munster.
My husband was a Baathist thug but he was my thug until Daddy killed him. And then that stupid Supreme Court elected George Bush, and, well, you know the rest. Now I'm stuck in Amman, which is frankly a pit toilet.
Can you believe people are criticizing me because I recently had a boob job, a tummy tuck, a nosejob, & a facelift?? Or because I love $hopping and doing the stairmaster and having my hair coiffed? Do you say coiffed?
Yes, I asked Mr. Ashcroft to return the jewels from our 5000 presidential palaces, but that is our rightful property. A girl has to eat. As Chelsea Clinton would say, Don't hold my Daddy's sociopathy against me. If any agents are reading this, I could use a big fat book deal. Also I do a little singing and tap dancing. Perhaps that grotesquely obese honorary Baathist Michael Moore could get me some exposure.
I could make it worth your while, Mr. Moore. Hell, I've done worse.
Posted by Jeff at June 19, 2004 10:55 AM